(no subject)

[crowdog66]

For those of you who like cuteness:





And now, the real deal: I think the new dosage of Effexor, which initially controlled my condition, has just turned bitch-kitty on me.

I lasted my Monday shift at Ipsos, but cut (as in, drew blood). I left two hours into my shift there last night after starting to cut. Although i was able to drag myself into Chris's office to flat "Star Wars", thereby preventing a total loss of the evening, cutting is still not good. I have an agreement with George not to do it... but you know what? Let's break all my agreements. Let's shatter everything and scatter it to the void. Maybe then I can escape this tightly-coiled ball of numbness and panic that my life seems to have become.

I cancelled my shift at Ipsos today as well. I'm going to try to go in to flat "Star Wars", but honestly, I just feel like I want to jump out of my skin -- or cut it into ribbons. Some of you may remember this from my descriptions of being on too high a dosage of Effexor before.

When I started to cut yesterday, what was running through my head was: "I can't be stabilized. I can't be stabilized. I can't be stabilized." All I can do right now is hang on.

God, I hate everything that I am.

Comments

**hugs**

[cockatiel-art.livejournal.com]

We're here to support eachother, even if it's a hug. If you need to talk, feel free to give me a call.

**Hugs again**

Re: **hugs**

[metisbutterfly.livejournal.com]

Same goes for me as to what northlight said..you know where to find me.
Please, if you start to get these urges again or things get worse, call klinic or the sara riel crisis stabalization unit. You can always feel free to call me too if you need a lift to somewhere where you can get help, or to emerg..seriously.
Blessings of the Goddess to you, sister. Be well.
Morgaine

[eastpath.livejournal.com]

There is nothing more that I can say beyond what was said. Know I am here for you. I'm but a few steps away. *hugs*