Internal update

[crowdog66]

I went to see my psychiatrist today for the first time since my mom's death, and all I had to report is that I'm feeling very numb. He assured me that for some people this is normal -- a protective mechanism -- but could offer me no comfort or advice on what to do when the shit eventually hits the fan.

Corey, I did receive your post regarding your offer of company/activity on Monday, Tuesday, or today, and I apologize for not getting back to you sooner. I just seem to be having a real problem concentrating, keeping on track, and getting things done, including personal correspondence. It's just as well -- I'm not very good company at the moment.

I'm trying to work on HB, but it's very hard going. Funny books just don't seem that important.

There's a big empty hole in my life where my mother used to be and I'm terrified of what's going to happen when I eventually get around to feeling it in its entirety.

Tomorrow we'll go and pick up her ashes, assuming I can get out of bed before mid-afternoon.

Comments

[eastpath.livejournal.com]

If you don't have to pick up her ashes tomorrow then don't. Cozy up with a book and some tea (perhaps iced) when you aren't painting. *hugs* This thing in life is at least one thing that you could never hope to control.. so don't feel like you are a bad person for it having happened *more hugs*