*sigh*

[crowdog66]

Godammit.

The Yule ritual rehearsal was almost over yesterday (having gone very well) when I suddenly felt a tidal-surge of depression that overwhelmed me and dragged me under. Thoughts of suicide, physical numbness, the whole nine yards. I got home, muttered a couple of words to George, and dragged myself into bed, which I just got out of a few minutes ago.

It's times like this I wonder why I keep fighting this urge to die. Second verse, same as the first... no, make that the millionth verse, same as the first. I'm forty years old, and I still don't have this thing licked.

Comments

Goddammit

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not very good at saying the right thing when people are feeling down and out... but know that this comes from my heart, and is sent in the purest form of love and compassion. You are one of the best friends I've EVER had, and the thought of you ending your life is much more than I can bear. You are highly intelligent, witty, fun-loving, sensitive, and have the most wonderful sense of humour. I love you dearly as a sister. You stood by me when I was having my crisis, and I want to do the same for you. I'm sending you a big hug, and loving energy tonight. Hang in there please, the world would have such a void without you. If you need me you know my number, just call and I'll be there for you. Promise.

Blessings,
Bramblerose

PS: I'll send you an email with my identity if you need it... but never say I don't read your journal again... I do.

Re: Goddammit

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

*hug* Thank you for your kind words of support -- they helped me overcome the hump yet again. *sigh* I guess I don't have any choice but to keep going, do I? :-P

And I'm pretty sure I know who you are... forgive me, my mind still isn't at its sharpest right now. Would you mind sending me that email? *feels rather sheepish now...*

[eastpath.livejournal.com]

I'm here to talk if you need.. I can bring over good stuff to watch and we can cozy up with Emmy and tea on the couch. I wish it was a thing that could be licked... it would be a wonderful world then. *hugs* I am here.

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

Yes, it would be a great world, wouldn't it? And thank you again for being there (as you always have been, a terrific friend). And apologies again for missing you on AIM. Several times. :-P

[eastpath.livejournal.com]

No worries. We'll catch each other sometime..

Looking forward to DegSep :D

[metisbutterfly.livejournal.com]

Ditto to what eastpath said..maybe we could have a girls' movie night. I know i could sure use one.
I agree that it can't be "licked" unfortunately, it's like any other illness that can be controlled but not cured. How i wish there were a cure for depression..
I'm only a phone call away.

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you! Actually, there's been some pretty encouraging research lately with "micro-electroshock therapy" implants for treatment-resistant depression. Well, we can only hope... and a movie night would be SO choice!

Tea? Coffee? Chokkie? HUGS!

[cockatiel-art.livejournal.com]

We'll find a way to beat that depression away some how, milady **bows deeply** . If not, there's plenty of hugs to go around and there are many an open ear. I'm crappy when it comes to saying the right things, and listening, but hell.. you're here for us when we need help , so we're trying to be here for you in your time of need :-) . You are a darling friend!

Depression sux. **hands Crow-joe the depression beating .. err... crowbar... to whack away nasties** . Feel free to whack as much as you want and if the bar breaks, I have more in my storage closet.

BTW... I still owe you a chokkie bar. I also found a book you might want to take a peek at. Cats. Nuff said!

**hugs**

Re: Tea? Coffee? Chokkie? HUGS!

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

Ah! A crowbar! *whacketty whack whack WHACK!*

Thank you kindly. And what's this about cats? :-D

[mechanicaljewel.livejournal.com]

::hugs:: Laurie, this world needs you, don't give up on it. You've helped me in more ways than one in the course of our short correspondence. It sucks that I can't be there to lend you a shoulder, but look above me, you've got many people who love you.

Blessings,
~Alexa

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you, Alexa! *hugs*

I was so happy to see you post "TOatEotH" to Neo Ex Machina. Glad I was able to help! And I'm still working on "800 Miles"... oh, and starting up a "Matrix" roleplaying game online -- if you were interested in getting involved in that, you'd be welcome to join us.