failure

[crowdog66]

I just can't seem to handle responsibility or complex tasks. I bungled the ritual form this afternoon in a way that no one could have missed (started the wrong invokation, had to backtrack and correct in front of 50 or 60 onlookers), and made several other large basic mistakes of procedure.

People complimented me on the ritual afterwards, but I couldn't, and can't, really believe it. I failed as a priestess. I failed the community to which I had promised a good, or even competant, rite. Everyone else hit their marks, but I fucked it up.

I don't know if I'll be able to go to any public events for a very long time. I don't know if I could bear it. It was everything I could do not to slink off right after the ritual was concluded, and the feeling of shame and sorrow is only getting worse.

Why did I even try?

Comments

Re: Holy Hugs from the Matrix Refugee

[metisbutterfly.livejournal.com]

hehehe i liked reading those Catholic bloopers, MR..being RC myself i loved the humor.
Here's one to make you all laugh. We were all at a school mass at my Catholic high school, and all of a sudden over the microphone and loud speakers a radio station kicked in for some wierd reason.(some kind of wiring/frequency problem) and the priest couldn't figure out how to turn it off. Of course, we were all school kids, so you can imagine what broke loose LOL.
When my sister was a little girl, one of her friends got the flu and started to puke right in the aisle when people were going up for communion.
A good friend of mine at high school had our gym teacher walk in on her when she was in the Confessional. Most RC's would argue that that is way worse than being walked in on while in the bathroom..LOL

i have many more that this bandwidth couldn't fit
!!

Re: Holy Hugs from the Matrix Refugee

[(Anonymous)]

Oh man... I've had someone walk in on me when I was going to confession! At this one particular church my mother and I go to often, there's a light over the door to the confessional which is supposed to change from green to red when you kneel down on the kneeler inside... Well, when I was about ten or eleven, I didn't weigh enough to trip the switch in the kneeler, so I'm in the middle of confessing my sins to the priest and all of a sudden the door behind me starts opening. Meanwhile, my mother and two other ladies are calling out to the intruder that there's someone in there, but the intruder was this older woman who must have been hard of hearing, so she starts coming IN!! Fortunately the priest, a kindly French gentleman, politely took charge of the situation and helped me recover from my embarrassment.