failure

[crowdog66]

I just can't seem to handle responsibility or complex tasks. I bungled the ritual form this afternoon in a way that no one could have missed (started the wrong invokation, had to backtrack and correct in front of 50 or 60 onlookers), and made several other large basic mistakes of procedure.

People complimented me on the ritual afterwards, but I couldn't, and can't, really believe it. I failed as a priestess. I failed the community to which I had promised a good, or even competant, rite. Everyone else hit their marks, but I fucked it up.

I don't know if I'll be able to go to any public events for a very long time. I don't know if I could bear it. It was everything I could do not to slink off right after the ritual was concluded, and the feeling of shame and sorrow is only getting worse.

Why did I even try?

Comments

[eastpath.livejournal.com]

Because you've done it before, very well infact, and I know you'll do it again in some form.

I had the same day today. Fucked up hugely and I feel awful, however... that's besides the point.

You have to not be so hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes.

But you are still loved and respected and that's all that matters

*hugs*