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My first two shifts back on the phones at Ipsos were... interesting. I was only monitored once, on Friday evening, and the first question the instructor asked me when he pulled me aside was, "How are you feeling?"
"Rusty," I replied with a smile.
"Well," he said, "if this is you 'rusty', I don't want to see you when you're well-oiled." And he proceeded to review my monitoring form, which was solid Very Goods right across the board. Apparently I haven't forgotten much after being away for almost sixteen months, after all.
I found myself handling the basic situation -- being there and continuing to hit the "next interview" prompt again and again -- considerably better now than I was toward the end of my previous stint with the company. I think I'm just coping better with life in general, and that this is allowing me to take the job at Ipsos for what it's worth: in other words, nothing to get horribly bent out of shape about. I had to do full shifts for all three days, so I was careful to give myself a five-minute break every hour or so when I could get out of the "field", as it's called, and de-stress in the lunchroom or the washroom. My shifts until the end of April will be four hour shifts from this point on, so... yeah. Whew. At least I know that I CAN do a six and yes, even an eight hour shift and not crash and burn. I wasn't sure that would be possible.
Went to see my psychiatrist today, who was pleased to hear I'm back at Ipsos but expressed some concern that I shouldn't push myself too hard. He says that if I'm still stable by June 1st he'll start stepping me down off some of my medications, specifically the Risperdal, which had a real impact on my depression but which also elevates my blood sugar levels. I must admit the prospect of messing with a winning combination has me nervous, but I'm on a very high dosage of several medications and would like to reduce or even eliminate them. That might simply not be possible: treatment-resistant depression is hideously hard to manage at the best of times. We'll have to wait and see. In the meantime, my medication load will remain the same, I'll continue to attend DBT sessions, and of course I'll continue to exercise, which in the last few months has really "broken the back" of my depression in a way that nothing else has.
Now, as for mice... make that "mouse", singular. As I was waiting for the bus to take me to the hospital, out of the corner of my eye I saw something moving on the roadway (which was empty due to a momentary break in traffic in both directions) about five feet away from me.
"Leaf", I thought dismissively.
"That's no leaf!" my visual cortex replied. "Leaves don't wobble and weave around when the wind isn't blowing!"
A direct glance revealed the small brown shape to be a plump field mouse, scampering around on the asphalt. Alarmed, I took a step toward it, thinking that I had to herd it closer to the sidewalk before an inevitable car came along and turned it into a sploosh of fur and guts -- but before I could do more than that, it turned and ran across the street away from me, into the parking lot of the Second Cup strip mall and underneath a parked car. A few seconds later it broke cover and ran right up to the building, where it proceeded to run along the sidewalk away from the street, and thence out of sight behind the row of cars. Poor little beastie. It probably got a lift on/in/under a car and fell off in the middle of the road. I hope it eventually made its way out the other side of the mall and into the residential neighborhood just behind it, where it might have at least a chance of survival.
And now, back to flatting Marvel Masterworks. I've been helping George get Albion out the door these last couple of days, so I haven't had much of a chance to work on it. Hopefully I'll still be able to make my April 21st deadline on the job.
"Rusty," I replied with a smile.
"Well," he said, "if this is you 'rusty', I don't want to see you when you're well-oiled." And he proceeded to review my monitoring form, which was solid Very Goods right across the board. Apparently I haven't forgotten much after being away for almost sixteen months, after all.
I found myself handling the basic situation -- being there and continuing to hit the "next interview" prompt again and again -- considerably better now than I was toward the end of my previous stint with the company. I think I'm just coping better with life in general, and that this is allowing me to take the job at Ipsos for what it's worth: in other words, nothing to get horribly bent out of shape about. I had to do full shifts for all three days, so I was careful to give myself a five-minute break every hour or so when I could get out of the "field", as it's called, and de-stress in the lunchroom or the washroom. My shifts until the end of April will be four hour shifts from this point on, so... yeah. Whew. At least I know that I CAN do a six and yes, even an eight hour shift and not crash and burn. I wasn't sure that would be possible.
Went to see my psychiatrist today, who was pleased to hear I'm back at Ipsos but expressed some concern that I shouldn't push myself too hard. He says that if I'm still stable by June 1st he'll start stepping me down off some of my medications, specifically the Risperdal, which had a real impact on my depression but which also elevates my blood sugar levels. I must admit the prospect of messing with a winning combination has me nervous, but I'm on a very high dosage of several medications and would like to reduce or even eliminate them. That might simply not be possible: treatment-resistant depression is hideously hard to manage at the best of times. We'll have to wait and see. In the meantime, my medication load will remain the same, I'll continue to attend DBT sessions, and of course I'll continue to exercise, which in the last few months has really "broken the back" of my depression in a way that nothing else has.
Now, as for mice... make that "mouse", singular. As I was waiting for the bus to take me to the hospital, out of the corner of my eye I saw something moving on the roadway (which was empty due to a momentary break in traffic in both directions) about five feet away from me.
"Leaf", I thought dismissively.
"That's no leaf!" my visual cortex replied. "Leaves don't wobble and weave around when the wind isn't blowing!"
A direct glance revealed the small brown shape to be a plump field mouse, scampering around on the asphalt. Alarmed, I took a step toward it, thinking that I had to herd it closer to the sidewalk before an inevitable car came along and turned it into a sploosh of fur and guts -- but before I could do more than that, it turned and ran across the street away from me, into the parking lot of the Second Cup strip mall and underneath a parked car. A few seconds later it broke cover and ran right up to the building, where it proceeded to run along the sidewalk away from the street, and thence out of sight behind the row of cars. Poor little beastie. It probably got a lift on/in/under a car and fell off in the middle of the road. I hope it eventually made its way out the other side of the mall and into the residential neighborhood just behind it, where it might have at least a chance of survival.
And now, back to flatting Marvel Masterworks. I've been helping George get Albion out the door these last couple of days, so I haven't had much of a chance to work on it. Hopefully I'll still be able to make my April 21st deadline on the job.
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