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Well, crap.
Okay, first the cuteness:
These, for those of you (particularly in the Matrix RP) who don't know, are sugar gliders. Aren't they just about the most squee-worthy li'l buggers you've ever seen? So, this is the kind of anthro that Shasti is.
I saw my psychiatrist yesterday, and he's ordered me off work at Ipsos until at least January 3rd. This is both horribly disappointing for me and a great relief. Horribly disappointing because when I had to leave after only two hours there on Monday, the supervisor I spoke with told me that I am "a consummate professional" and one of their best employees -- I'm good at the damned job, but right now I just can't hack it. *cries* A great relief because the negative thought loops and panic I felt at having to be on the phones talking to (potentially abusive) strangers was making me suicidal and actually drove me to cut.
Hopefully by the first week in January, the new dosage of Remeron I started a few days ago will kick in and I'l stabilize. Until then, because I am suicidal and have been actually cutting, my doctor has given me Seroquel, an atypical antipsychotic, to take as needed at an extremely low dose (12.5 mg). Basically, where antidepressants stop emotions, antipsychotics stop cognition: the purpose is to break the chain of negative self-talk that I can't seem to get hold of using my DBT skills right now. However, Seroquel will probably knock me right the hell out and leave me, effectively, vegetative until it wears off.
Pardon me while I swear some more: fuck, fuck, fuck, and fuck.
More positive stuff, though: Star Wars flats continue to flow from Doug Wheatley, who is the source of much goodness right now. George has been confirmed as the regular colorist on "Breakdown" from Devils Due press. Girl Genius #14 should start hitting my desktop soon. And Doug Wheatley has a 4-issue Star Wars miniseries coming up after the Episode Three tie-in adaptation that he wants me to flat at $50 per page.
Also, the Matrix RP is progressing apace. And Ruby has semi-promised to run a session of the "Blank of the Future" AI RP thread in the new year, while I prepare more material for the Main Game.
Life, as usual, gives both roses and thorns.
Okay, first the cuteness:
These, for those of you (particularly in the Matrix RP) who don't know, are sugar gliders. Aren't they just about the most squee-worthy li'l buggers you've ever seen? So, this is the kind of anthro that Shasti is.
I saw my psychiatrist yesterday, and he's ordered me off work at Ipsos until at least January 3rd. This is both horribly disappointing for me and a great relief. Horribly disappointing because when I had to leave after only two hours there on Monday, the supervisor I spoke with told me that I am "a consummate professional" and one of their best employees -- I'm good at the damned job, but right now I just can't hack it. *cries* A great relief because the negative thought loops and panic I felt at having to be on the phones talking to (potentially abusive) strangers was making me suicidal and actually drove me to cut.
Hopefully by the first week in January, the new dosage of Remeron I started a few days ago will kick in and I'l stabilize. Until then, because I am suicidal and have been actually cutting, my doctor has given me Seroquel, an atypical antipsychotic, to take as needed at an extremely low dose (12.5 mg). Basically, where antidepressants stop emotions, antipsychotics stop cognition: the purpose is to break the chain of negative self-talk that I can't seem to get hold of using my DBT skills right now. However, Seroquel will probably knock me right the hell out and leave me, effectively, vegetative until it wears off.
Pardon me while I swear some more: fuck, fuck, fuck, and fuck.
More positive stuff, though: Star Wars flats continue to flow from Doug Wheatley, who is the source of much goodness right now. George has been confirmed as the regular colorist on "Breakdown" from Devils Due press. Girl Genius #14 should start hitting my desktop soon. And Doug Wheatley has a 4-issue Star Wars miniseries coming up after the Episode Three tie-in adaptation that he wants me to flat at $50 per page.
Also, the Matrix RP is progressing apace. And Ruby has semi-promised to run a session of the "Blank of the Future" AI RP thread in the new year, while I prepare more material for the Main Game.
Life, as usual, gives both roses and thorns.
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*huggles*