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The report on the convention I attended over the long weekend. There are many photos (hopefully interesting) and some funny stories behind the cut.
FRIDAY, MAY 16TH
2 PM: My convention started even before I hit Registration: I had to meet Tom I, Laurie E, and Jerry F regarding Laurie and Jerry's handfasting ceremony on Sunday. Tom showed up at the Wagon Wheel restaurant, as scheduled. Laurie and Jerry did not. So Tom and I had lunch and discussed the ritual.
3 PM: As we were leaving the restaurant, who should appear as we stepped out onto the street but Laurie and Jerry! They'd misunderstood the meeting time. D'oh!
Tom had to leave, so Laurie and Jerry and I went back into the restaurant and went over the ritual and the supply list.
4 PM: Went to the convention hotel with Laurie and Jerry. Registration had my free full con pass AND the Saturday pass all ready for me. Hurrah! I got a drinking wristband in case I wanted to attend any late-night adult programming over the weekend. (Alcohol and diabetes, not a good mix.)
Laurie, Jerry, and I went to the Portage Room where the handfasting was to be held and found it locked, so we couldn't check out the layout. *sigh* We parted company, and I went to the Art Show to drop off the color copy of the 25th anniversary souvenir book. Woe! The copy of the book I'd been promised was not waiting for me; they needed the head of Publications to approve it. I left my cell phone number and told them to call me when they got approval, and also to tell people that I was willing to sign the book if they wanted -- all they had to do was find me.
4:30 PM: Met Tom, Laurie, and Jerry in the hotel restaurant (a very upscale establishment) for coffee. We went over our pocket programs and much use was made of a yellow highlighter I'd brought along. We coordinated equipment drop off (Saturday morning at Laurie's dealers room table) and a rehearsal (Sunday at 1 pm in Laurie and Jerry's hotel room).
Here they are, with Tom in the middle:
And here's a badge that I made for Laurie many, many years ago:
5 PM: Wandered the con suite floor and the Art Show. Signed a couple of souvenir books.
5:30 PM: Ran into Bruce T, an old friend from way back in my early fannish days. We toured the art show, snarking all and sundry. ("Cutesie-poo fairies? Check! Dragons? Check! Pretentious titles that have nothing to do with the artwork? Check!" and so forth.) I put bids on a tiny yellow dragon picture and a signed and numbered Kelly Freas print.
6 PM: Opening ceremonies. I don't normally attend, but since cakes with my artwork on them were due to be brought out at the end of it, I wanted to be right there to get a picture before they were cut to pieces.
Luke Ski, one of the guests, performed a filk song, "One Night in Quark's Bar", to the tune of "One Night in Bangkok". Hilarious stuff indeed, sufficiently so that I purchased one of his CDs in the Dealers Room later that evening.
7:15 PM: At last, the cakes!
And I had the dubious honor of being blown off by one of the con chairs (who admittedly is an asshole of long standing, but still...) As I approached him to thank him for approving my con memberships and the free copy of the souvenir book, I didn't get much further than "John, thank you for --" before he snapped "Yeah, whatever!" and turned his back on me. I'm sure I did a lovely goldfish impersonation. Fortunately the other con chair was present and stepped in to guide me away from John and introduce me to Jenn, the head of Publications, who I'd exchanged many emails with but never actually met. She promised me she'd go down to Art Show and approve my copy of the souvenir book as soon as she was able.
7:30 PM: Sat down in the Sleeping Dragon suite for a bowl of homemade turkey chicken barley soup and brown bread, for the princely sum of $1.75. They offered to make me fruit punch with Splenda. How kind!
7:45 PM: Down to the Dealers Room, where I found
1) that Luke Ski CD I mentioned
2) a Transformers wallet for my friend Michelle
3) a heavy dark grey wool cloak with a satin lining, for which I was prepared to offer $50, before the dealer spoke up and offered it to me for $30
I also saw some beautiful leather masks that were WAY too expensive for my blood. Laurie and Jerry were kind enough to let me store the cloak in their room rather than having to haul it all over the convention space.
8 PM: Back to the con suite floor, where I eventually sat down in the KeyHole, the official con suite. There I ran into Kate B, and we had a brief discussion about the Wicca panel we'd be running on Sunday. As we were talking who should come along but Jenn, with my copy of the souvenir book in her hand. She'd paid for it herself and brought it to me personally; I told her that I wanted to take her out for at least a dessert and coffee at some point during the con (that never materialized), and we spent a good long time talking about what a bastard John is. Apparently there were many people who might have worked for the con this year who simply refused to deal with him at all.
9 PM: Hung out in The Inconceivable Inn.
10 PM: Off to see a King Kong panel that Bruce was running, along with Liana K.
I went mostly as a gesture of support to Bruce but found it a fascinating discussion. I introduced myself to Liana as someone in the comics industry, since she'd just come out with a comic herself. She told me to stop by the autograph signing on Saturday and she'd hold a copy of the comic for me. Sweet!
11 PM: Ah, the con suite floor again. I read over the souvenir book in the KeyHole, then wandered over to the Blender suite, since many people seemed to be coming out of there with Hawaiian leis and colorful goblets filled with slushy fruity drinks. The lineup to get in stretched right out of the suite and down the hall.
11:30 PM: While in line for Blender, I get a call from Doug K on my cellphone. He's going home; do I want a lift? Dammit. I'd just gotten inside the door of the suite.
I accepted his offer; I was feeling a mite tired. Darn it, when did I stop being a young party-hearty fan?
... Oh, right. When I became an old, tired pro.
SATURDAY, MAY 17TH
10:15 AM: Took a cab to the convention along with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
eastpath and Moses, hauling a godawfully heavy carpet bag full of ritual equipment for Sunday.
10:30 AM: Stashed the bag under Moses' dealers table until Laurie arrived at her own dealers table. Bought the book Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell and a copy of Brave New World.
Behold the signage around the elevators on the 11th floor:
And the 15th floor where all the con suites were located:
10:45: Hey, look, a hall costume!
11 AM: Turkey sausage gumbo and brown bread with peanut butter in the Sleeping Dragon.
11:15 AM: My art in the Art Show, already marked for Auction:
11:30 AM: David Mattingly's tour of the Art Show. Lively discussions about various art on display, including my own.
12 PM: Attended the "Five Most Surprising Developments in the Next 20 Years" panel, hosted by Robert J. Sawyer. Much intelligent and intriguing discussion as he involved the audience members in the presentation. Afterwards I approached him and was surprised and pleased to discover that he remembered me from a ValleyCon where we'd both been Guests of Honor several years ago. I shook his hand, chatted for about a minute, then let him get on with talking to the fans who crowded around him.
Books to look up as a result of that panel: Your Inner Fish and The Bicameral Mind.
1 PM: Vegetarian chili in the Mars Society suite (where I also picked up some maple syrup candies for George), followed by a samosa in The Inconceivable Inn. Much catching up with people who I really only see at KeyCon but whose company I greatly enjoy.
Also made it into Blender, and got a better shot of part of their decorations:
3 PM: I'm one of the panelists on "Working for the Mouse", along with (from left to right) David Mattingly, Robert Pasternak, Lar deSouza.
As we're sitting onstage waiting for the panel to start, Lar and I have a chat. His editor has been very naughty and failed to get in touch with me regarding a project that Lar wants me to collaborate on. (Lar's line: "I'm going to kill him.") So perhaps there is new work in my future.
Just before the panel kicked off, David Mattingly invited me to dinner with himself and a few other artists at 5:30. Color me pleased.
4 PM: As the panel wraps up,eastpath, who'd borrowed my camera to take the picture above, approached the head table and gave me both my camera and a flyer for a publishing company set up in the Dealers Room by the name of EDGE. Apparently they're open to new author submissions, so down I went to Dealers and had a talk with the lady behind the table. They're willing to look at my novel once it's completed and edited.
Let me repeat that, with emphasis, because it's so totally awesome: They're willing to look at my novel once it's completed and edited. At last, a light at the end of the writing tunnel!
4:30 PM: Up to the con suite floor and into Blender, which wasn't terribly crowded. Picked up a spiffy green goblet and some Diet Coke. Hung about and chatted with various fans.
4:45 PM: Find Michelle and give her the Transformers wallet I picked up for her.
5:15 PM: As I'm leaving the con suite floor, a couple of boys in their early 20s come barrelling down the hall. The first one knocks my shoulder bag fairly hard, almost spinning me into the wall, and keeps going without so much as a glance. I have an extremely strong urge to clock the second one across the face with my open palm as he follows, with a sharp statement along the lines of "Slow down, you damned kids!"
Twenty years ago, I WAS one of those kids. When did I get to be a crotchetty old fart?
5:30 PM: Down to the lobby to meet David and the other artists, feeling a little underdressed because I was in a Comic Craft t-shirt and definitely not dressed for a spiffy dinner. They took me out anyway... to The East India Company, an upscale restaurant that nevertheless serves a kickass buffet ($25, and worth every penny). I filled up on vegetable rice and the most delicious butter chicken I've ever tasted. Afterwards David and I walked back to the convention hotel alone, since we both wanted to be back for the masquerade and the rest of the artists wanted to sit and chat for a while. We discussed SUVs, various forms of transit, and how Winnipeg seems to have daylight longer than New York State does. I found him a very intelligent and articulate fellow, definitely a pleasure to talk with.
7 PM: The Masquerade is PACKED with people. I manage to sneak in some photos, as follows.
In my opinion, this was easily the best costume in the entire show:
One couple came as those two telephone aliens from Sesame Street. Here's one of them off stage:
A young lady portraying a character from Ruby Gloom:
And that same young lady talking to the blue alien:
A fellow portraying a video game character. That sword is real metal. He came on stage swinging it and took a chunk out of the ceiling tiles:
Hey, look! It's Wolverine!
'
And the real showstopper, a costumer as Queen Elizabeth (later that evening she appeared in the Adult Masquerade in the underwear beneath this costume):
The mistress of ceremonies, Liana K, in her Queen of Hearts costume:
8 PM: I get sick of the crowds surrounding the Masquerade and elect not to wait for the results of the judging. Back to 15, where I run into Bruce in Inconceivable and we start talking. Alas, because we're sitting in chairs situated at opposite ends of the short bar, people keep coming between us. We decide to head down to the rather nice lobby on the 12th floor to continue our conversation.
We talk... and talk... and talk... occasionally interrupted by the passing of a pretty woman and/or the antics of LARPers.
11 PM: Up to the Sleeping Dragon minus Bruce, who decides to go girl-watching at the dance that followed the Masquerade. Have a bowl of truly bad turkey mushroom soup with brown bread and peanut butter. Talk with Mike M (a former GM of mine) and several other folks. Just before I leave the suite, I take the bowl of what's left of the soup to the serving area and let the lady behind the table know that I couldn't finish the soup due to its taste, but didn't want to dump a bowl of broth into the garbage. She offers me another bowl of soup, but I have places to be -- the Adult Masquerade is on in 10 minutes -- so she gives me free cookies instead.
eastpath and I head down to the 11th floor, where we find a literal sea of people waiting to get into the 18+ event. We take one look at the milling crowd and decide that it's time to catch a cab home.
SUNDAY, MAY 18TH
10:15 AM: Off to the convention hotel by cab with Moses.
10:25 AM: Obey the rules, kiddies.
10:30 AM: Toast and cream cheese in the KeyHole (which had free, free free food all weekend). Yawned a lot.
11 AM: So I'm one of the people running a panel called "Ecumanifilk", right? An interfaith panel, supposedly. I show up and discover that, as the name suggests, it's a filking panel about spiritual songs. What I'm supposed to do as a panel member is a bit of a puzzlement, because while I can sing, I haven't in years and wasn't about to start then.
On the positive side, not many people showed up, and for the first half hour I had my own little filk concert with Dave Clement and Barb Sutton.
Wonderful stuff.
12:15 PM: Coffee with Kate B to discuss the Wicca panel later this afternoon. I'd thought it might be lunch, but one look at the hotel menu ($3 for toast?!?!) convinced me that coffee alone was the way to go.
Behold, the $6 soup:
Kate and I have a good chat which confirms that we're on the same page as far as the history of Wicca, fluffy bunnies, etc. She was a bit late, and I used that time to go over the handfasting ritual and figure out the blocking.
12:50 PM: Ten minutes to the close of bidding in the Art Show. I show up and bird dog that Kelly Freas print I wanted as a birthday present for my husband. The little yellow dragon had another bid on it, which was fine by me: at that point I was all about the Freas.
1 PM: YAHOO! I GOT THE FREAS PRINT!
1:05 PM: I hurry to the Dealers Room to meet Laurie and Jerry and Tom at Laurie's table. We go upstairs and go over my blocking, which is approved. I'd come to the convention in dress pants and a long sleeved green shirt; I now put on my ritual dress on top of that and changed into a pair of dress oxfords in preparation for the ceremony at 3 PM. Laurie and Jerry show me their staffs, on which are hung various mementos from their friends and family back in the states; the staffs would be coming into circle with them to represent those who could not be present.
2 PM: Starting to get a bit nervous about the ceremony. We'd scoped out the room, but a suitable table for the altar had not presented itself until late Saturday evening, when Jerry pointed out that a large round marble-topped table next to Registration would be perfect. The hotel SAYS it's going to move the table. Whether it actually DOES is at this point unknown.
I grabbed a quick bowl of pea soup with brown bread and peanut butter in the Sleeping Dragon -- actually, in spite of the hectic atmosphere of the con, I'd been quite good about my diet -- and then nipped down to the Art Auction, which was running from 2 PM to 4 PM. My color print of the cover didn't come up while I was there. Bugger. I'll have to hope somone remembers how much it goes for...
3 PM: The Wicca panel, attended by 7 people. On the plus side, we had a great discussion with the people who showed up.
3:45 PM: I excuse myself from the Wicca panel to run down to the 11th floor for altar set up prior to the ritual. Jerry and Tom were supposed to be there with the ritual carpet bag.
The good news: The marble-topped table was there, and it didn't take much work to move it into perfect position. Tom was also there, as were some of the folks who Laurie and Jerry had invited to be in the circle with them as their "con family". And the wedding cake and plates were already there on a side table.
The bad news: Jerry was not there, nor was the ritual carpet bag. @&$#*#(!!!!!!
4 PM: I announce to the growing crowd -- about 50 people -- that we're just waiting for the equipment to set up the altar and that we'll be starting at about 3:15.
Yes, I said 3:15. Bruce, who was at the back of the room, started flashing his hand up and down with four fingers outstretched. The audience laughed good-naturedly as I groaned and admitted that I'd been talking about the ritual happening at 3 PM-ish all day. Tom came up behind me and pretended to reset me to the proper time zone.
4:05 PM: Jerry and Laurie show up with the carpet bag. Tom takes it from them, and neither of us ask them where the heck they've been -- we're too busy putting things in place. We set up that altar, and lay out the yellow boating cord marking the edges of the ritual circle, like lightning.
4:25 PM: At last we're ready to begin. The door is closed and locked, with a sign on the outside that says: "RITUAL IN PROGRESS: Please do not enter".
I call the happy couple and their con family to approach the altar and lead them, and the audience, in a grounding and centering exercise (see the handfasting ceremony itself, which I'll post tomorrow). The wedding party departs to the rear of the room. Tom gives a brief explanation to the audience of what they'll be seeing, then leads them in a meditation on the nature of love as I purify the sacred space with incense smoke and salt water.
And then the magic happens.
It was a beautiful ceremony, and it went almost without a hitch. What little difficulties there were got eased with laughter -- kind and friendly laughter when I caught myself making an error in a certain line, or when Jerry accidentally handed Laurie the ritual cake in the wrong way. You could have heard a pin drop in that room, and when the ritual was over and I'd opened the circle there was thunderous applause.
The wedding party had gone to the back of the room, but I found myself unable to join them because people kept coming up to me to shake my hand and compliment me on the service, including some folks who weren't Wiccan. I had a lovely conversation with a fellow from the United Church who'd never seen a Wiccan ceremony and had some very intelligent questions. And as we were serving cake David Mattingly showed up; although he declined to have a piece of cake because he was going to the Aurora Awards banquet very shortly, he accepted one of the wedding favors (a green ribbon with a pretty bead on it, meant to be a bracelet) and hung it over one ear in a very fetching way.
Here are some pictures of the happy couple. Keep going past them -- there's more con report in store.
5:45 PM: I find out who bought my print in the Art Auction -- none other than Jenn, the head of Publications. I sign and personalize it to her. She paid $70, and if the con lives up to their end of the bargain I'll be getting $35 of that.
6:10 PM: We've finally packed up the altar and the cake and are heading upstairs when my cell phone rings. I don't get to it in time, but I know who it is: Doug K, who I'd arranged to meet in the KeyHole for a dinner of free pizza (the con suite had ordered 3 rounds of 15 extra large pizzas to be served free of charge at 5 PM, 6 PM, and 7 PM). I get to Laurie and Jerry's room, shrug out of my dress and change into my more comfortable sneakers, share some final congratulatory hugs, then hustle down to the KeyHole to apologize to Doug for keeping him waiting.
7 PM: We end up getting pizza on the 7 PM shift. Mmmmmm, free con pizza, supplemented with a bowl of beef and potato soup from the Sleeping Dragon.
7:30 PM: I ask Doug to watch my stuff for a few minutes and run down to the Art Show, which said they would be open for early art pick up between 6-9 PM.
They lied. The doors were closed and locked. I cursed and hastened back upstairs.
7:45 PM: I ask the folks running the KeyHole if I may set up to do tarot and rune readings that evening on a donation basis, with half the proceeds going to the suite. They normally wouldn't have a problem, but the Montreal bid for the World Science Fiction Convention is taking over the suite at 9 pm.
8 PM: I find a space to read cards in Blender. Have I mentioned yet what that point of Blender is? They serve fruity slushy drinks that consist of:
1) crushed ice
2) fruit juice concentrate
3) vodka
They're fine with me reading as long as the sound of the blenders won't disrupt me too much. I assure them that it won't, and proceed to read four people's fortunes, one of whom shows me a kind of tarot spread I'd never seen before and which is quite cool, called The Pyramid and the Key. Perhaps I'll put up a diagram of it in another post.
10 PM: A monk in black robes bearing a wooden board comes through Blender, walking slowly and chanting that slow little dirge from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. He whaps his head with the board at the appropriate points, and under his cowl he must have another board, because the KLONK! sound is very pronounced. He enters, tours the room, and slowly exits, still chanting. I'm guessing he did that in all the rooms.
(Oh, and I almost forgot to mention another fellow who was wandering the con dressed as a different character from the same movie. I didn't see him myself when he was in the general hallways, but people were definitely talking about him: apparently you could hear him coming because he had two coconut halves that he was using to imitate the sound of horse's hooves. I saw him in the Masquerade and his costume was excellent.)
10:30 PM: Kevin G, the fellow who showed me the new tarot layout, offers to get me a drink. I say yes, and call after him as he approaches the bar that I'm diabetic and would like a Diet Coke, please.
He comes back with what looks suspiciously like a fruity, slushy, alcoholic drink. I tell him again that I'm diabetic and can't have alcohol. He is crestfallen, but gives the drink to someone waiting in line and tries again.
This time he comes back with what looks like a fruity, slushy drink without alcohol. I tell him AGAIN that I am a diabetic and can't have fruit juice, either. He is more crestfallen, but gives the fruit juice to someone else and goes back for a third round.
This time he brings me a bottled water.
Turns out he didn't hear me say that I am diabetic in the first place, much less that I wanted a Diet Coke. Oh, well, His heart was certainly in the right place.
11:30 PM: I'm tired and starting to get a bit overwhelmed by the sheer number of people when Doug K pokes his head into the suite and asks me if I'd like a ride home. Yes, please! I find Laurie, who takes me up to their room to get my ritual supplies, the cloak I brought on Friday night, and my ritual clothes.
I iz ded in brainz, and there's still another day of the con to go.
MONDAY, MAY 19TH
9 AM: I crawl out of bed. Oh, Gods, what am I doing? This is Victoria Day: I should be sound asleep, recovering from the convention!
9:30 AM: Share a cab with Moses to the convention hotel.
10 AM: Go straight to the Art Show and pick up my Kelly Freas print. $44 and change. Not bad for a signed, numbered print with a certificate by such a big name artist.
10:45 AM: Stop by Laurie's table in the Dealers Room. She'd like me to go in with her and a couple of other readers next year on a divination table, so we can spell each other off in shifts. I told her I need a LOT more practice and I'd get back to her about that, but I'm certainly interested.
The Dealers Room is already starting to empty out.
11 AM: Dragged myself up to the KeyHole and sat down to a bologna and cheese on rye and some La Cocina tortilla chips. The Sleeping Dragon is closed for the year, so no more delicious soup. Wah.
11:30 AM: Killing time until a panel at noon, I slip into the Video Room and watch most of a Futurama episode about Frye having his nose stolen as an aphrodisiac. After the episode the Video Room guys pass out posters as give-aways. I trade a fellow the Batman Forever poster I received for the Marvel 25th Anniversary poster that he got. Happiness all round.
12 PM: I arrive at the panel and sit down in the front row in the chair furthest from the door. There are only six other people in the room, not counting the presenters.
I discover within two minutes of the panel starting that it's not about Short Story AND Novel Writing, as I'd thought, but Short Story VERSUS Novel Writing, which is a subject I have less than no interest in. And for the first time ever, I use my cell phone as an excuse: I pretend it's on vibrate, pull it out of my pocked, look at the screen as if reading a text message, close it up, put it away, make apologetic gestures to the panel of presenters, and slip out. Hey, a text message is a good excuse, right? Right?
12:30 PM: Whew! To celebrate my escape, I have another bologna sandwich in the KeyHole and find a position on one of the couches that gives me coffee table space on which to read tarot. I set out my little sign, let the folks organizing the Kiddie Con Suite next year that half my proceeds will go to them, and spend the rest of the afternoon and evening reading people's fortunes. Fortunately there are folks I know hanging about, so I'm able to ask them to watch my stuff every so often when I have to take a bathroom break or go to the other open con suite, The Inconceivable Inn, and announce that I'm doing readings with donations going to two very good causes:
1) my cab fare home
2) the Kiddie Con Suite
The tail end of the con was quiet but fun.
The only bad moment: a guy who'd already had too much to drink knocked his drink over and fell down, and in the confusion of making sure he was all right I didn't at first notice that his drink had formed a puddle that was touching my cards. Yikes! With the help of some other kind folks I got them all dried off, with only a little bit of wrinkling at their upper edge. The drunk guy was immensely apologetic and later gave me $20 to do a reading for him. (The cards will be okay, but it was a bad couple of moments, let me tell you.)
A behind-the-scenes view of the KeyHole bathroom, stocked with supplies, including a cake left over from the handfasting and donated to the suite:
And me, in the mirror:
At about 6 PM the hotel sent up the leftovers from the Aurora Awards banquet: baron of beef, chicken breasts, carrots, and potatoes. One of my friends was kind enough to get me a plate as I was doing a reading at that moment.
There was lots of talk about how we all got to be such old fans, leaving the con before midnight each evening and muttering about "those darned kids" who are LARPing all the time.
At around 7 PM the con suite broke out two large cakes and some ice cream. At 10 PM, after asking if anyone wanted any more, they sent the remains of the cakes -- a good half of each one -- down to the hotel staff.
I went home at around 11 PM with a headache, probably because I was reading tarot using my own energy, not drawing it up from the earth and down from the sky. (How can you tell I'm a newbie reader?) Laurie saw me downstairs, then into a cab with the Batman balloon I'd snagged from the KeyHole (since they were giving them away to anyone who wanted one).
And thus ends KeyCon 25.
*collapses and dies*
FRIDAY, MAY 16TH
2 PM: My convention started even before I hit Registration: I had to meet Tom I, Laurie E, and Jerry F regarding Laurie and Jerry's handfasting ceremony on Sunday. Tom showed up at the Wagon Wheel restaurant, as scheduled. Laurie and Jerry did not. So Tom and I had lunch and discussed the ritual.
3 PM: As we were leaving the restaurant, who should appear as we stepped out onto the street but Laurie and Jerry! They'd misunderstood the meeting time. D'oh!
Tom had to leave, so Laurie and Jerry and I went back into the restaurant and went over the ritual and the supply list.
4 PM: Went to the convention hotel with Laurie and Jerry. Registration had my free full con pass AND the Saturday pass all ready for me. Hurrah! I got a drinking wristband in case I wanted to attend any late-night adult programming over the weekend. (Alcohol and diabetes, not a good mix.)
Laurie, Jerry, and I went to the Portage Room where the handfasting was to be held and found it locked, so we couldn't check out the layout. *sigh* We parted company, and I went to the Art Show to drop off the color copy of the 25th anniversary souvenir book. Woe! The copy of the book I'd been promised was not waiting for me; they needed the head of Publications to approve it. I left my cell phone number and told them to call me when they got approval, and also to tell people that I was willing to sign the book if they wanted -- all they had to do was find me.
4:30 PM: Met Tom, Laurie, and Jerry in the hotel restaurant (a very upscale establishment) for coffee. We went over our pocket programs and much use was made of a yellow highlighter I'd brought along. We coordinated equipment drop off (Saturday morning at Laurie's dealers room table) and a rehearsal (Sunday at 1 pm in Laurie and Jerry's hotel room).
Here they are, with Tom in the middle:
And here's a badge that I made for Laurie many, many years ago:
5 PM: Wandered the con suite floor and the Art Show. Signed a couple of souvenir books.
5:30 PM: Ran into Bruce T, an old friend from way back in my early fannish days. We toured the art show, snarking all and sundry. ("Cutesie-poo fairies? Check! Dragons? Check! Pretentious titles that have nothing to do with the artwork? Check!" and so forth.) I put bids on a tiny yellow dragon picture and a signed and numbered Kelly Freas print.
6 PM: Opening ceremonies. I don't normally attend, but since cakes with my artwork on them were due to be brought out at the end of it, I wanted to be right there to get a picture before they were cut to pieces.
Luke Ski, one of the guests, performed a filk song, "One Night in Quark's Bar", to the tune of "One Night in Bangkok". Hilarious stuff indeed, sufficiently so that I purchased one of his CDs in the Dealers Room later that evening.
7:15 PM: At last, the cakes!
And I had the dubious honor of being blown off by one of the con chairs (who admittedly is an asshole of long standing, but still...) As I approached him to thank him for approving my con memberships and the free copy of the souvenir book, I didn't get much further than "John, thank you for --" before he snapped "Yeah, whatever!" and turned his back on me. I'm sure I did a lovely goldfish impersonation. Fortunately the other con chair was present and stepped in to guide me away from John and introduce me to Jenn, the head of Publications, who I'd exchanged many emails with but never actually met. She promised me she'd go down to Art Show and approve my copy of the souvenir book as soon as she was able.
7:30 PM: Sat down in the Sleeping Dragon suite for a bowl of homemade turkey chicken barley soup and brown bread, for the princely sum of $1.75. They offered to make me fruit punch with Splenda. How kind!
7:45 PM: Down to the Dealers Room, where I found
1) that Luke Ski CD I mentioned
2) a Transformers wallet for my friend Michelle
3) a heavy dark grey wool cloak with a satin lining, for which I was prepared to offer $50, before the dealer spoke up and offered it to me for $30
I also saw some beautiful leather masks that were WAY too expensive for my blood. Laurie and Jerry were kind enough to let me store the cloak in their room rather than having to haul it all over the convention space.
8 PM: Back to the con suite floor, where I eventually sat down in the KeyHole, the official con suite. There I ran into Kate B, and we had a brief discussion about the Wicca panel we'd be running on Sunday. As we were talking who should come along but Jenn, with my copy of the souvenir book in her hand. She'd paid for it herself and brought it to me personally; I told her that I wanted to take her out for at least a dessert and coffee at some point during the con (that never materialized), and we spent a good long time talking about what a bastard John is. Apparently there were many people who might have worked for the con this year who simply refused to deal with him at all.
9 PM: Hung out in The Inconceivable Inn.
10 PM: Off to see a King Kong panel that Bruce was running, along with Liana K.
I went mostly as a gesture of support to Bruce but found it a fascinating discussion. I introduced myself to Liana as someone in the comics industry, since she'd just come out with a comic herself. She told me to stop by the autograph signing on Saturday and she'd hold a copy of the comic for me. Sweet!
11 PM: Ah, the con suite floor again. I read over the souvenir book in the KeyHole, then wandered over to the Blender suite, since many people seemed to be coming out of there with Hawaiian leis and colorful goblets filled with slushy fruity drinks. The lineup to get in stretched right out of the suite and down the hall.
11:30 PM: While in line for Blender, I get a call from Doug K on my cellphone. He's going home; do I want a lift? Dammit. I'd just gotten inside the door of the suite.
I accepted his offer; I was feeling a mite tired. Darn it, when did I stop being a young party-hearty fan?
... Oh, right. When I became an old, tired pro.
SATURDAY, MAY 17TH
10:15 AM: Took a cab to the convention along with
eastpath and Moses, hauling a godawfully heavy carpet bag full of ritual equipment for Sunday.10:30 AM: Stashed the bag under Moses' dealers table until Laurie arrived at her own dealers table. Bought the book Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell and a copy of Brave New World.
Behold the signage around the elevators on the 11th floor:
And the 15th floor where all the con suites were located:
10:45: Hey, look, a hall costume!
11 AM: Turkey sausage gumbo and brown bread with peanut butter in the Sleeping Dragon.
11:15 AM: My art in the Art Show, already marked for Auction:
11:30 AM: David Mattingly's tour of the Art Show. Lively discussions about various art on display, including my own.
12 PM: Attended the "Five Most Surprising Developments in the Next 20 Years" panel, hosted by Robert J. Sawyer. Much intelligent and intriguing discussion as he involved the audience members in the presentation. Afterwards I approached him and was surprised and pleased to discover that he remembered me from a ValleyCon where we'd both been Guests of Honor several years ago. I shook his hand, chatted for about a minute, then let him get on with talking to the fans who crowded around him.
Books to look up as a result of that panel: Your Inner Fish and The Bicameral Mind.
1 PM: Vegetarian chili in the Mars Society suite (where I also picked up some maple syrup candies for George), followed by a samosa in The Inconceivable Inn. Much catching up with people who I really only see at KeyCon but whose company I greatly enjoy.
Also made it into Blender, and got a better shot of part of their decorations:
3 PM: I'm one of the panelists on "Working for the Mouse", along with (from left to right) David Mattingly, Robert Pasternak, Lar deSouza.
As we're sitting onstage waiting for the panel to start, Lar and I have a chat. His editor has been very naughty and failed to get in touch with me regarding a project that Lar wants me to collaborate on. (Lar's line: "I'm going to kill him.") So perhaps there is new work in my future.
Just before the panel kicked off, David Mattingly invited me to dinner with himself and a few other artists at 5:30. Color me pleased.
4 PM: As the panel wraps up,
eastpath, who'd borrowed my camera to take the picture above, approached the head table and gave me both my camera and a flyer for a publishing company set up in the Dealers Room by the name of EDGE. Apparently they're open to new author submissions, so down I went to Dealers and had a talk with the lady behind the table. They're willing to look at my novel once it's completed and edited. Let me repeat that, with emphasis, because it's so totally awesome: They're willing to look at my novel once it's completed and edited. At last, a light at the end of the writing tunnel!
4:30 PM: Up to the con suite floor and into Blender, which wasn't terribly crowded. Picked up a spiffy green goblet and some Diet Coke. Hung about and chatted with various fans.
4:45 PM: Find Michelle and give her the Transformers wallet I picked up for her.
5:15 PM: As I'm leaving the con suite floor, a couple of boys in their early 20s come barrelling down the hall. The first one knocks my shoulder bag fairly hard, almost spinning me into the wall, and keeps going without so much as a glance. I have an extremely strong urge to clock the second one across the face with my open palm as he follows, with a sharp statement along the lines of "Slow down, you damned kids!"
Twenty years ago, I WAS one of those kids. When did I get to be a crotchetty old fart?
5:30 PM: Down to the lobby to meet David and the other artists, feeling a little underdressed because I was in a Comic Craft t-shirt and definitely not dressed for a spiffy dinner. They took me out anyway... to The East India Company, an upscale restaurant that nevertheless serves a kickass buffet ($25, and worth every penny). I filled up on vegetable rice and the most delicious butter chicken I've ever tasted. Afterwards David and I walked back to the convention hotel alone, since we both wanted to be back for the masquerade and the rest of the artists wanted to sit and chat for a while. We discussed SUVs, various forms of transit, and how Winnipeg seems to have daylight longer than New York State does. I found him a very intelligent and articulate fellow, definitely a pleasure to talk with.
7 PM: The Masquerade is PACKED with people. I manage to sneak in some photos, as follows.
In my opinion, this was easily the best costume in the entire show:
One couple came as those two telephone aliens from Sesame Street. Here's one of them off stage:
A young lady portraying a character from Ruby Gloom:
And that same young lady talking to the blue alien:
A fellow portraying a video game character. That sword is real metal. He came on stage swinging it and took a chunk out of the ceiling tiles:
Hey, look! It's Wolverine!
'And the real showstopper, a costumer as Queen Elizabeth (later that evening she appeared in the Adult Masquerade in the underwear beneath this costume):
The mistress of ceremonies, Liana K, in her Queen of Hearts costume:
8 PM: I get sick of the crowds surrounding the Masquerade and elect not to wait for the results of the judging. Back to 15, where I run into Bruce in Inconceivable and we start talking. Alas, because we're sitting in chairs situated at opposite ends of the short bar, people keep coming between us. We decide to head down to the rather nice lobby on the 12th floor to continue our conversation.
We talk... and talk... and talk... occasionally interrupted by the passing of a pretty woman and/or the antics of LARPers.
11 PM: Up to the Sleeping Dragon minus Bruce, who decides to go girl-watching at the dance that followed the Masquerade. Have a bowl of truly bad turkey mushroom soup with brown bread and peanut butter. Talk with Mike M (a former GM of mine) and several other folks. Just before I leave the suite, I take the bowl of what's left of the soup to the serving area and let the lady behind the table know that I couldn't finish the soup due to its taste, but didn't want to dump a bowl of broth into the garbage. She offers me another bowl of soup, but I have places to be -- the Adult Masquerade is on in 10 minutes -- so she gives me free cookies instead.
eastpath and I head down to the 11th floor, where we find a literal sea of people waiting to get into the 18+ event. We take one look at the milling crowd and decide that it's time to catch a cab home.SUNDAY, MAY 18TH
10:15 AM: Off to the convention hotel by cab with Moses.
10:25 AM: Obey the rules, kiddies.
10:30 AM: Toast and cream cheese in the KeyHole (which had free, free free food all weekend). Yawned a lot.
11 AM: So I'm one of the people running a panel called "Ecumanifilk", right? An interfaith panel, supposedly. I show up and discover that, as the name suggests, it's a filking panel about spiritual songs. What I'm supposed to do as a panel member is a bit of a puzzlement, because while I can sing, I haven't in years and wasn't about to start then.
On the positive side, not many people showed up, and for the first half hour I had my own little filk concert with Dave Clement and Barb Sutton.
Wonderful stuff.
12:15 PM: Coffee with Kate B to discuss the Wicca panel later this afternoon. I'd thought it might be lunch, but one look at the hotel menu ($3 for toast?!?!) convinced me that coffee alone was the way to go.
Behold, the $6 soup:
Kate and I have a good chat which confirms that we're on the same page as far as the history of Wicca, fluffy bunnies, etc. She was a bit late, and I used that time to go over the handfasting ritual and figure out the blocking.
12:50 PM: Ten minutes to the close of bidding in the Art Show. I show up and bird dog that Kelly Freas print I wanted as a birthday present for my husband. The little yellow dragon had another bid on it, which was fine by me: at that point I was all about the Freas.
1 PM: YAHOO! I GOT THE FREAS PRINT!
1:05 PM: I hurry to the Dealers Room to meet Laurie and Jerry and Tom at Laurie's table. We go upstairs and go over my blocking, which is approved. I'd come to the convention in dress pants and a long sleeved green shirt; I now put on my ritual dress on top of that and changed into a pair of dress oxfords in preparation for the ceremony at 3 PM. Laurie and Jerry show me their staffs, on which are hung various mementos from their friends and family back in the states; the staffs would be coming into circle with them to represent those who could not be present.
2 PM: Starting to get a bit nervous about the ceremony. We'd scoped out the room, but a suitable table for the altar had not presented itself until late Saturday evening, when Jerry pointed out that a large round marble-topped table next to Registration would be perfect. The hotel SAYS it's going to move the table. Whether it actually DOES is at this point unknown.
I grabbed a quick bowl of pea soup with brown bread and peanut butter in the Sleeping Dragon -- actually, in spite of the hectic atmosphere of the con, I'd been quite good about my diet -- and then nipped down to the Art Auction, which was running from 2 PM to 4 PM. My color print of the cover didn't come up while I was there. Bugger. I'll have to hope somone remembers how much it goes for...
3 PM: The Wicca panel, attended by 7 people. On the plus side, we had a great discussion with the people who showed up.
3:45 PM: I excuse myself from the Wicca panel to run down to the 11th floor for altar set up prior to the ritual. Jerry and Tom were supposed to be there with the ritual carpet bag.
The good news: The marble-topped table was there, and it didn't take much work to move it into perfect position. Tom was also there, as were some of the folks who Laurie and Jerry had invited to be in the circle with them as their "con family". And the wedding cake and plates were already there on a side table.
The bad news: Jerry was not there, nor was the ritual carpet bag. @&$#*#(!!!!!!
4 PM: I announce to the growing crowd -- about 50 people -- that we're just waiting for the equipment to set up the altar and that we'll be starting at about 3:15.
Yes, I said 3:15. Bruce, who was at the back of the room, started flashing his hand up and down with four fingers outstretched. The audience laughed good-naturedly as I groaned and admitted that I'd been talking about the ritual happening at 3 PM-ish all day. Tom came up behind me and pretended to reset me to the proper time zone.
4:05 PM: Jerry and Laurie show up with the carpet bag. Tom takes it from them, and neither of us ask them where the heck they've been -- we're too busy putting things in place. We set up that altar, and lay out the yellow boating cord marking the edges of the ritual circle, like lightning.
4:25 PM: At last we're ready to begin. The door is closed and locked, with a sign on the outside that says: "RITUAL IN PROGRESS: Please do not enter".
I call the happy couple and their con family to approach the altar and lead them, and the audience, in a grounding and centering exercise (see the handfasting ceremony itself, which I'll post tomorrow). The wedding party departs to the rear of the room. Tom gives a brief explanation to the audience of what they'll be seeing, then leads them in a meditation on the nature of love as I purify the sacred space with incense smoke and salt water.
And then the magic happens.
It was a beautiful ceremony, and it went almost without a hitch. What little difficulties there were got eased with laughter -- kind and friendly laughter when I caught myself making an error in a certain line, or when Jerry accidentally handed Laurie the ritual cake in the wrong way. You could have heard a pin drop in that room, and when the ritual was over and I'd opened the circle there was thunderous applause.
The wedding party had gone to the back of the room, but I found myself unable to join them because people kept coming up to me to shake my hand and compliment me on the service, including some folks who weren't Wiccan. I had a lovely conversation with a fellow from the United Church who'd never seen a Wiccan ceremony and had some very intelligent questions. And as we were serving cake David Mattingly showed up; although he declined to have a piece of cake because he was going to the Aurora Awards banquet very shortly, he accepted one of the wedding favors (a green ribbon with a pretty bead on it, meant to be a bracelet) and hung it over one ear in a very fetching way.
Here are some pictures of the happy couple. Keep going past them -- there's more con report in store.
5:45 PM: I find out who bought my print in the Art Auction -- none other than Jenn, the head of Publications. I sign and personalize it to her. She paid $70, and if the con lives up to their end of the bargain I'll be getting $35 of that.
6:10 PM: We've finally packed up the altar and the cake and are heading upstairs when my cell phone rings. I don't get to it in time, but I know who it is: Doug K, who I'd arranged to meet in the KeyHole for a dinner of free pizza (the con suite had ordered 3 rounds of 15 extra large pizzas to be served free of charge at 5 PM, 6 PM, and 7 PM). I get to Laurie and Jerry's room, shrug out of my dress and change into my more comfortable sneakers, share some final congratulatory hugs, then hustle down to the KeyHole to apologize to Doug for keeping him waiting.
7 PM: We end up getting pizza on the 7 PM shift. Mmmmmm, free con pizza, supplemented with a bowl of beef and potato soup from the Sleeping Dragon.
7:30 PM: I ask Doug to watch my stuff for a few minutes and run down to the Art Show, which said they would be open for early art pick up between 6-9 PM.
They lied. The doors were closed and locked. I cursed and hastened back upstairs.
7:45 PM: I ask the folks running the KeyHole if I may set up to do tarot and rune readings that evening on a donation basis, with half the proceeds going to the suite. They normally wouldn't have a problem, but the Montreal bid for the World Science Fiction Convention is taking over the suite at 9 pm.
8 PM: I find a space to read cards in Blender. Have I mentioned yet what that point of Blender is? They serve fruity slushy drinks that consist of:
1) crushed ice
2) fruit juice concentrate
3) vodka
They're fine with me reading as long as the sound of the blenders won't disrupt me too much. I assure them that it won't, and proceed to read four people's fortunes, one of whom shows me a kind of tarot spread I'd never seen before and which is quite cool, called The Pyramid and the Key. Perhaps I'll put up a diagram of it in another post.
10 PM: A monk in black robes bearing a wooden board comes through Blender, walking slowly and chanting that slow little dirge from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. He whaps his head with the board at the appropriate points, and under his cowl he must have another board, because the KLONK! sound is very pronounced. He enters, tours the room, and slowly exits, still chanting. I'm guessing he did that in all the rooms.
(Oh, and I almost forgot to mention another fellow who was wandering the con dressed as a different character from the same movie. I didn't see him myself when he was in the general hallways, but people were definitely talking about him: apparently you could hear him coming because he had two coconut halves that he was using to imitate the sound of horse's hooves. I saw him in the Masquerade and his costume was excellent.)
10:30 PM: Kevin G, the fellow who showed me the new tarot layout, offers to get me a drink. I say yes, and call after him as he approaches the bar that I'm diabetic and would like a Diet Coke, please.
He comes back with what looks suspiciously like a fruity, slushy, alcoholic drink. I tell him again that I'm diabetic and can't have alcohol. He is crestfallen, but gives the drink to someone waiting in line and tries again.
This time he comes back with what looks like a fruity, slushy drink without alcohol. I tell him AGAIN that I am a diabetic and can't have fruit juice, either. He is more crestfallen, but gives the fruit juice to someone else and goes back for a third round.
This time he brings me a bottled water.
Turns out he didn't hear me say that I am diabetic in the first place, much less that I wanted a Diet Coke. Oh, well, His heart was certainly in the right place.
11:30 PM: I'm tired and starting to get a bit overwhelmed by the sheer number of people when Doug K pokes his head into the suite and asks me if I'd like a ride home. Yes, please! I find Laurie, who takes me up to their room to get my ritual supplies, the cloak I brought on Friday night, and my ritual clothes.
I iz ded in brainz, and there's still another day of the con to go.
MONDAY, MAY 19TH
9 AM: I crawl out of bed. Oh, Gods, what am I doing? This is Victoria Day: I should be sound asleep, recovering from the convention!
9:30 AM: Share a cab with Moses to the convention hotel.
10 AM: Go straight to the Art Show and pick up my Kelly Freas print. $44 and change. Not bad for a signed, numbered print with a certificate by such a big name artist.
10:45 AM: Stop by Laurie's table in the Dealers Room. She'd like me to go in with her and a couple of other readers next year on a divination table, so we can spell each other off in shifts. I told her I need a LOT more practice and I'd get back to her about that, but I'm certainly interested.
The Dealers Room is already starting to empty out.
11 AM: Dragged myself up to the KeyHole and sat down to a bologna and cheese on rye and some La Cocina tortilla chips. The Sleeping Dragon is closed for the year, so no more delicious soup. Wah.
11:30 AM: Killing time until a panel at noon, I slip into the Video Room and watch most of a Futurama episode about Frye having his nose stolen as an aphrodisiac. After the episode the Video Room guys pass out posters as give-aways. I trade a fellow the Batman Forever poster I received for the Marvel 25th Anniversary poster that he got. Happiness all round.
12 PM: I arrive at the panel and sit down in the front row in the chair furthest from the door. There are only six other people in the room, not counting the presenters.
I discover within two minutes of the panel starting that it's not about Short Story AND Novel Writing, as I'd thought, but Short Story VERSUS Novel Writing, which is a subject I have less than no interest in. And for the first time ever, I use my cell phone as an excuse: I pretend it's on vibrate, pull it out of my pocked, look at the screen as if reading a text message, close it up, put it away, make apologetic gestures to the panel of presenters, and slip out. Hey, a text message is a good excuse, right? Right?
12:30 PM: Whew! To celebrate my escape, I have another bologna sandwich in the KeyHole and find a position on one of the couches that gives me coffee table space on which to read tarot. I set out my little sign, let the folks organizing the Kiddie Con Suite next year that half my proceeds will go to them, and spend the rest of the afternoon and evening reading people's fortunes. Fortunately there are folks I know hanging about, so I'm able to ask them to watch my stuff every so often when I have to take a bathroom break or go to the other open con suite, The Inconceivable Inn, and announce that I'm doing readings with donations going to two very good causes:
1) my cab fare home
2) the Kiddie Con Suite
The tail end of the con was quiet but fun.
The only bad moment: a guy who'd already had too much to drink knocked his drink over and fell down, and in the confusion of making sure he was all right I didn't at first notice that his drink had formed a puddle that was touching my cards. Yikes! With the help of some other kind folks I got them all dried off, with only a little bit of wrinkling at their upper edge. The drunk guy was immensely apologetic and later gave me $20 to do a reading for him. (The cards will be okay, but it was a bad couple of moments, let me tell you.)
A behind-the-scenes view of the KeyHole bathroom, stocked with supplies, including a cake left over from the handfasting and donated to the suite:
And me, in the mirror:
At about 6 PM the hotel sent up the leftovers from the Aurora Awards banquet: baron of beef, chicken breasts, carrots, and potatoes. One of my friends was kind enough to get me a plate as I was doing a reading at that moment.
There was lots of talk about how we all got to be such old fans, leaving the con before midnight each evening and muttering about "those darned kids" who are LARPing all the time.
At around 7 PM the con suite broke out two large cakes and some ice cream. At 10 PM, after asking if anyone wanted any more, they sent the remains of the cakes -- a good half of each one -- down to the hotel staff.
I went home at around 11 PM with a headache, probably because I was reading tarot using my own energy, not drawing it up from the earth and down from the sky. (How can you tell I'm a newbie reader?) Laurie saw me downstairs, then into a cab with the Batman balloon I'd snagged from the KeyHole (since they were giving them away to anyone who wanted one).
And thus ends KeyCon 25.
*collapses and dies*
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*HUGS* Thank you again for inviting me... I'm so glad I came out, even if I did bore myself with larping. Silly choice on my part! Don't think I'll make that mistake again next year LOL