gasp

[crowdog66]

Made it through another day. I didn't make it to work at all on Thursday. On Friday, I actually made it in the door at I-R, but as soon as I started dialing I went into a paralyzing panic. Maybe the Effexor is starting to work; I felt a little better, well enough to attempt going to work, but yesterday and today I've been vibrating like a high tension wire on a windy day.

Yesterday I took two and one half Alprazolam (1.25 mg of tranquilizer) just to lock myself down. I took the first half at I-R, the first full tablet after I crawled into bed at home (too shamed even to face George), and the second full tablet at around midnight. The feeling of drifting away was glorious... as if I was half dead and, will the tiniest push, could go the rest of the way and never wake up again.

When George woke me up this afternoon, he mentioned that Tara from the New Moon group had phoned... that they'd made something for me at their meeting Thursday night and she'd like to drop it off. She'd asked for a a callback, but I just couldn't bring myself to speak to anyone. I feel so worthless and so ashamed, the thought of kindness makes me tremble with even greater self-hatred.

Comments

[eastpath.livejournal.com]

*support and energy to you*

Purrrrpurrrrrpurrrrrrrr

[cockatiel-art.livejournal.com]

**turns into a disgustingly cute kitty and rubs up against Crowdog's legs** Waiting for the pills to work is an ass!! But, thankfully, as you said..it's slowly starting to kick in **hugs** I am sooo happy to hear that you're feeling even the tiniest bit better!! **turns into a lion to help support her kitty lov'n pal**

I'm here to help support you **hugs again** Gimmie a call. I have chocolate, too **evil grin**

Northlight and Fids
Domnijoe Pets and Art

[matrixrefugee.livejournal.com]

**Hugs Laurie**

I finally have AIM reinstalled on my comp; if you need to talk, drop me a line. I wish I could be there right with you, right now...