"I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad..."

[crowdog66]

Just saw the movie "Donnie Darko" (and highly recommend it, it's a strange hermetically sealed little film), and the end title song has stuck with me. It resonates.

Mad World
by Gary Jules

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going no where
Going no where
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow
And I find I kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one new me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me
And I find I kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world

I have very little energy. The world still seems vaguely nightmarish, and my misery quotient is rising and falling with every passing hour. (Hm, very much like the movie, come to think of it!)

Depression is like a fever...

I saw my Pagan friend Ta. today (as opposed to my non-Pagan friend Te.); she came by to pick up the robes for Beltane, which she has kindly agreed to iron. I am SO grateful to her for that. It will be all I can do to finish the studio job whose deadline is crushing me, and be ready for Beltane as well this Sunday.

The AI RP crisis has resolved itself, thank Hermes (the God of communication, as is appropriate).

I still have to color-code and email the Beltane ritual script to a few people, including the person (hello, B.!) who will be printing it out for the 7-person ritual team. But for now, I'm glad just to be breathing.

Emmie has turned out to be a "toys" cat, and a "jingley toys" cat at that... we found a yellow plastic cat ball with a bell in it under the stove a couple of weeks ago, and she has fits of chasing it around the house and carrying it in her mouth. I'll have to get her more toys sometime.

Her contentment makes me happy. :-)

Comments

the poem you posted..

[metisbutterfly.livejournal.com]

reminded me of my dear Jim Morrison's "People are Strange" (when you're a stranger/faces look ugly/when you're alone/women seem wicked, when you're unwanted/streets are uneven when you're down...etc)
I know that nightmarish quality...everyone experiences it differently but i've been there. <>. I accidently forgot two doses of Paxil this week and my goodness, the nightmares i had..I won't do that again. They ought to have a shot we can take so that I don't forget my pill LOL, I'm awful for that!!

Emmie loves toys? I have tons of cat toys, some of them Salem is tired of..i could wash them and donate you some if you like! I would love to see another cat get some use out of them.

Is your number still the same? we should do tea one of these days, whenever you feel you would like to give me a call!!