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A poem dedicated to one of the largest Cheddar cheeses every made.
A cheese of 7,000 lb (3,175 kg) was produced in Ingersoll, Ontario in 1866 and exhibited in New York and Britain; it was immortalised in the infamous poem "Ode on the Mammoth Cheese Weighing over 7,000 Pounds" by James McIntyre, a Canadian poet. (from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheddar_cheese)
So without further ado...
Ode on the Mammoth Cheese Weighing over 7,000 Pounds
James McIntyre (1827-1906)
1 We have seen the Queen of cheese,
2 Laying quietly at your ease,
3 Gently fanned by evening breeze --
4 Thy fair form no flies dare seize.
5 All gaily dressed soon you'll go
6 To the great Provincial Show,
7 To be admired by many a beau
8 In the city of Toronto.
9 Cows numerous as a swarm of bees --
10 Or as the leaves upon the trees --
11 It did require to make thee please,
12 And stand unrivalled Queen of Cheese.
13 May you not receive a scar as
14 We have heard that Mr. Harris
15 Intends to send you off as far as
16 The great World's show at Paris.
17 Of the youth -- beware of these --
18 For some of them might rudely squeeze
19 And bite your cheek; then songs or glees
20 We could not sing o' Queen of Cheese.
21 We'rt thou suspended from balloon,
22 You'd caste a shade, even at noon;
23 Folks would think it was the moon
24 About to fall and crush them soon.
Notes
1] The cheese was made by James Harris at the Ingersoll factory (99).
6] the great Provincial Show: the Toronto Industrial Exposition, founded in 1878, and lit by electricity in 1882, where 22 of 23 buildings focused on agriculture (The Canadian Encyclopedia, 2nd edn. [Edmonton: Hurtig, 1988]: 345).
16] The great World's show at Paris: in 1889 the Effel Tower was built for this exhibition, established in 1851 in London.
Online text copyright © 2005, Ian Lancashire for the Department of English, University of Toronto.
Published by the Web Development Group, Information Technology Services, University of Toronto Libraries.
A cheese of 7,000 lb (3,175 kg) was produced in Ingersoll, Ontario in 1866 and exhibited in New York and Britain; it was immortalised in the infamous poem "Ode on the Mammoth Cheese Weighing over 7,000 Pounds" by James McIntyre, a Canadian poet. (from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheddar_cheese)
So without further ado...
Ode on the Mammoth Cheese Weighing over 7,000 Pounds
James McIntyre (1827-1906)
1 We have seen the Queen of cheese,
2 Laying quietly at your ease,
3 Gently fanned by evening breeze --
4 Thy fair form no flies dare seize.
5 All gaily dressed soon you'll go
6 To the great Provincial Show,
7 To be admired by many a beau
8 In the city of Toronto.
9 Cows numerous as a swarm of bees --
10 Or as the leaves upon the trees --
11 It did require to make thee please,
12 And stand unrivalled Queen of Cheese.
13 May you not receive a scar as
14 We have heard that Mr. Harris
15 Intends to send you off as far as
16 The great World's show at Paris.
17 Of the youth -- beware of these --
18 For some of them might rudely squeeze
19 And bite your cheek; then songs or glees
20 We could not sing o' Queen of Cheese.
21 We'rt thou suspended from balloon,
22 You'd caste a shade, even at noon;
23 Folks would think it was the moon
24 About to fall and crush them soon.
Notes
1] The cheese was made by James Harris at the Ingersoll factory (99).
6] the great Provincial Show: the Toronto Industrial Exposition, founded in 1878, and lit by electricity in 1882, where 22 of 23 buildings focused on agriculture (The Canadian Encyclopedia, 2nd edn. [Edmonton: Hurtig, 1988]: 345).
16] The great World's show at Paris: in 1889 the Effel Tower was built for this exhibition, established in 1851 in London.
Online text copyright © 2005, Ian Lancashire for the Department of English, University of Toronto.
Published by the Web Development Group, Information Technology Services, University of Toronto Libraries.
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(The reason I've heard it before: This has long been the favourite Bad Poem of the Current Baron and Baroness; in the event I ran a few years back, the losing fighters had to say a love poem of some kind; Hreodbeorht used this (in small doses), claiming it qualified.)