Yesterday as I was clearing boxes out of the pantry to look for some documents, I found a plastic container of homemade spice crinkle cookies (with raisins) that had slipped down behind one of the boxes sometime around Christmas. How do I know this? Because on top of the container was written: "Laurie's Xmas cookies, December (date illegible) '06".
My mother had made them for me and George, not knowing that it would be her last Christmas ever.
I showed the container to George while making a joke about "cookies from beyond the GRAVE!"... which was fine until I went to bed last night. There, in the darkness, it hit me -- hard. I cried my eyes out for the first time since my mother actually died. And while I was fine most of today, I had another crying fit just now.
Grieving sucks. It hurts both emotionally and physically. My head and my chest both feel like someone's stabbed me with an icepick.
I miss you, Mom...
My mother had made them for me and George, not knowing that it would be her last Christmas ever.
I showed the container to George while making a joke about "cookies from beyond the GRAVE!"... which was fine until I went to bed last night. There, in the darkness, it hit me -- hard. I cried my eyes out for the first time since my mother actually died. And while I was fine most of today, I had another crying fit just now.
Grieving sucks. It hurts both emotionally and physically. My head and my chest both feel like someone's stabbed me with an icepick.
I miss you, Mom...
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hugs...
We handle things like that with humor in my family, too..and it's usually fine until I'm alone.
Like when mom and i couldn't find grandma's grave one day we went to "visit" her and we joked, "isn't that just like her..hiding from us"
But later I realized how much I missed her, that four foot nothing fiesty lady with the French accent that drove me crazy and I loved more than anything.
Sigh...
A candle is lit for you, sister.