*shaking*

[crowdog66]

The numbness is continuing to wear off. I had two appointments today, and made neither of them because I can't bear the thought of leaving the apartment. Tears and panic keep hitting me. I feel like everything is literally falling apart.

I didn't make any phone calls today, either, and I really need to get started on those.

I'm so afraid. Memories overwhelm me. I have so much work to do, and I'm terrified to pick up the stylus. I need things from my editor, but don't want to risk sending him an email because it would bring me -- and my lateness -- to his attention.

The urge to cut is strong but I've resisted it so far. I think that feeling the knife and seeing the blood would let out some of my pain, but there are consequences to that kind of action, including George's reaction.

Stop the world, please. I want to get off.

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*hugs*