*shaking*

[crowdog66]

The numbness is continuing to wear off. I had two appointments today, and made neither of them because I can't bear the thought of leaving the apartment. Tears and panic keep hitting me. I feel like everything is literally falling apart.

I didn't make any phone calls today, either, and I really need to get started on those.

I'm so afraid. Memories overwhelm me. I have so much work to do, and I'm terrified to pick up the stylus. I need things from my editor, but don't want to risk sending him an email because it would bring me -- and my lateness -- to his attention.

The urge to cut is strong but I've resisted it so far. I think that feeling the knife and seeing the blood would let out some of my pain, but there are consequences to that kind of action, including George's reaction.

Stop the world, please. I want to get off.

Comments

[elaryn.livejournal.com]

*big hugs*

I'm worried about you; I'm praying for you. I know these are sad and awful times for you, but it's good that you feel able to write about it and share your heart with us so we can reach back to you and lend you our strength.

breathe in, breathe out

[bodi-kat.livejournal.com]

one step at a time, hon.

E-mail your editor. He knows about your mom's passing, right? So i'm sure he'll understand the delay. There's nothing to be gained by waiting until he contacts you- by then, he'll be annoyed, and if you at that point say "Oh, I need X to continue", he'll simply ask why you didn't just ask for X before.

i know it all seems unsurmountable, but you can get through this.

[eastpath.livejournal.com]

If you want me to give ya a call to chat for a bit, anything to help, I can. We can talk about anything under the sun *huge hugs*

Oh hey and if it makes it any easier on you given the stuff you are already dealing with, if you want to give me the number to your caretaker/landlord and I can call instead of you having to add to your plate I'm cool with it. *more huge hugs*! :)

I know it's somewhat useless to offer tired platitudes, but it's true that with time it will get easier. *hugs again*

[lacontessamala.livejournal.com]

*big hugs* Laurie, you are in my prayers. Please contact your editor--I'm sure he'll understand. In the meantime, hang in there.

[saraswathi-rani.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[cockatiel-art.livejournal.com]

**hugs** We're here hun, we're here. **hugs again**