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Things I Would Never Put In My Mouth, Part One:

Lutefisk

From the above article:

The moment every traveller lives for is the native dinner where, throwing caution to the wind and plunging into a local delicacy which ought by rights to be disgusting, one discovers that it is not only delicious but that it also contradicts a previously held prejudice about food, that it expands ones culinary horizons to include surprising new smells, tastes, and textures.

Lutefisk is not such a dish.

Lutefisk is instead pretty much what you'd expect of jellied cod; it is a foul and odiferous goo, whose gelatinous texture and rancid oily taste are locked in spirited competition to see which can be the more responsible for rendering the whole completely inedible.

How to describe that first bite? Its a bit like describing passing a kidneystone to the uninitiated. If you are talking to someone else who has lived through the experience, a nod will suffice to acknowledge your shared pain, but to explain it to the person who has not been there, mere words seem inadequate to the task. So it is with lutefisk. One could bandy about the time honored phrases like "nauseating sordid gunk", "unimaginably horrific", "lasting psychological damage", but these seem hollow when applied to the task at hand. I will have to resort to a recipe for a kind of metaphorical lutefisk, to describe the experience. Take marshmallows made without sugar, blend them together with overcooked Japanese noodles, and then bathe the whole liberally in acetone. Let it marinate in cod liver oil for several days at room temperature. When it has achieved the appropriate consistency (though the word "appropriate" is somewhat problematic here), heat it to just above lukewarm, sprinkle in thousands of tiny, sharp, invisible fish bones, and serve.


Gack. :-P

EDITED TO ADD: I should point out that here in Winnipeg there ARE people who eat lutefisk, and in fact that lutefisk is served at the Icelandic Festival held in Gimli each year. Nevertheless -- gack!
Date/Time: 2007-03-23 21:12 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] eastpath.livejournal.com
ew...
Date/Time: 2007-03-23 21:35 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] elaryn.livejournal.com
Double ew...
Date/Time: 2007-03-24 05:35 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] cockatiel-art.livejournal.com
Um..... Tripple ew. And Ew again.
Date/Time: 2007-03-24 05:44 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] jeffheikkinen.livejournal.com
Quad eww, but damn you for posting this such that I would read it right after coming home from a smoky bar. When I can barely breathe, laughing that hard is *very* painful.
Date/Time: 2007-03-24 11:53 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] sammelsadvocate.livejournal.com
Sounds tasty!

(Sorry, I just want to e different.)
Date/Time: 2007-03-24 22:18 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] metisbutterfly.livejournal.com
hahhaha...have you seen the movie "The Ref" with Denis Leary and Kevin Spacey? If not, you should..it's hilarious, and there is a passing reference to "thousand year old lutefisk"..thanks to your article, i now know how to spell it ;)

I think every culture has a dish that is downright disturbing. Take my heinz 57 geneaology for example: the Scots have haggis, the French have escargot, the Brits, blood sausage, Aboriginal, pemmican. So i can't say too much about lutefisk..although i wouldn't touch that or any of the above with a ten foot pole ;)