crowdog66 ◾ ◾ Diplomacy vs Directness

Mrrrrr... I don't usually do long posts, but this one is an exception. Bear with me. Fannish politics follow!

An incident occured this morning on the AI roleplaying list I'm GMing that caught me by surprise. I hope I handled it well. Basically, it came down to Diplomacy vs Directness.

Readers Digest version: The AI RP group on Yahoo! Groups was started in January of last year by a girl -- let's call her A. -- who, when I showed up on the group and it got out that I had 16+ years of gaming experience (where she had none), passed the task of running the game on to me. She had a character she wanted to play, and so I engineered that character into the first several sessions of the RP. Things looked rosy, and I thought I'd established good communication with the players involved.

Until one day, A. disappeared, without (as far as I can recall) so much as an email to say why she was going. Hearing nothing from her, I ended up running the character for a few sessions before deciding that she was not coming back, at which point I had to write the character out. Annoying and puzzling, but not a big deal.

The RP went on. Without the person who'd started the whole thing, but successfully nonetheless.

Then -- surprise! -- A. returned!

I was very happy to see her come back to us, too, and looked forward to having her play with us. When she posted (without the courtesy of giving me a heads-up first) a link to a NEW AI roleplaying group she'd created, I did not protest -- after all, the more the merrier, right? I was, however, irritated... I have a feeling of inferiority and insecurity, and having a "competitor" show up didn't help. (The new group lingered on the net for quite some time and eventually died without recording any activity, as I recall.)

Then A. vanished. Again. While I now had some idea of why she'd disappeared the first time (she claimed loss of net access), I had no idea what had happened on this occasion. Again, I received no email or any other contact to explain what was going on.

So I kept running the RP. Fifteen scenes... seventeen... twenty...

And then, a week ago, A. joined us. Again! She even submitted a new character write-up, which IMHO was a blatant Mary Sue (as her first character proposal had been), but which with a bit of retooling would have fit into the universe I created.

(Let's get one thing perfectly clear. For over a year I've ridden herd on the group, GMed gaming sessions, created backstory and details of the universe they play in -- and I am NOT about to give it back to A., even if she was responsible for starting the ball rolling in the first place. Convinced that I'm a dictatorial bitch yet? Good, we're on the same page! Read on...)

I worked on feedback to A.'s character proposal last night, pointing out as diplomatically as I could the problems I saw with her running the character in the current AI RP universe and suggesting ways we could work together to bring out the strengths of the concept. I did not email it to A. immediately: instead, I emailed it to two other members of the RP first, to see if they agreed that my criticisms were fair (which they did). I was about to send the character feedback off this morning, when...

A. did it. Again. She posted a link inviting people to join a new AI roleplaying group that she had just created, without being polite enough to ask for permission. Something which, as noted, treads right on some of the hottest of my hot buttons.

I'm sorry to say I hit the roof. Well, a very low roof, and not very fast -- but a roof nonetheless. This was my response:

"A.:

"I feel obliged to point out that this is the second time you've left the AI RP group, rejoined it -- and then posted a link promoting another roleplaying group which you've created for the same universe.

"Now, personally I'm all for promoting this kind of thing -- it gives the fans more choices. Howevever, I find this behavior on your part rather rude. You might at least have checked with me first for permission to post the link, as an act of common courtesy. I certainly would have given it to you.

"Also, given the fact that this is the second time you've joined and posted a link to another AI group, I am frankly suspicious of your motives.

"If you are serious about playing in the AI RP universe, I have your character feedback ready to send. However, I am going to remove your original message. If you want to repost the address to your RP, please ask.

"Laurie
(more than a litte miffed)"

One cup of coffee and some cooling down later, I did NOT remove the link A. had posted, and in fact I posted a partial recant. It outlined the history of A.'s participation in the group (pretty much as I gave it to you above), and ended with the paragraph:

"And now, you have rejoined us again. Welcome back! I sincerely hope you can take part in the RP this time. However, I have a sneaking suspicion (which I hope to see proved wrong) that you have rejoined us merely to promote your own group, and will vanish again."

"If this is the case, I wish you good luck and hope all goes well.

"If this isn't the case, and you're sincere about playing, please reply to me via this list to state your intention."

So far, no answer. And no response from anyone else on the RP mailing list.

Oh, man, I hope I didn't blow this completely. Did I mention I'm insecure?