(no subject)

[crowdog66]

I have just done something that breaks my heart.

May all the Gods I honor forgive me for it. I failed, and had to face up to it. I just wish things could have turned out differently.

I hope I did the right thing, and that it was the best thing to do for everyone concerned. Doing it certainly hurt enough...

I'm sorry, Neo. Oh, Gods, I'm so sorry.

The things I regret: Not getting to know you and Trinity and Smith even better. Not being there to help advise on the setup of the monastary. Not BEING there, period. If this had happened even a few months further into my recovery, it might have made a difference. I might have been able to handle things better. But as it is -- I'm just too weak, and there are things I cannot bear.

I hope you'll find it in yourself to forgive me. I wish things could have been different. But I can't lie to you, and I can't put either of us through the horrible tangle of emotions and cross-purposes that would result if I stayed on.

Comments

[dark-puck.livejournal.com]

Laurie? What is it? What happened?

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

I'm all right. I just sent one of the hardest emails of my life, and am having difficulty with that fact.

Put it down to angst. ;-)

[snorkle-c.livejournal.com]

It sounded like you swallowed three bottles of pills, or something. You got me all scared for a minute.

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

Apologies for that.

[matrixrefugee.livejournal.com]

Yipes... I was terrified for a moment there.

Not sure when I'll be on AIM tonight, since I'm going to the Boston Flower Show again, with my dad; hopefully I'll be on around 11 CST.

[agent-of-cha0s.livejournal.com]

Ahh, more lies.

Shall I simply tell Anderson to give up, too, and de-friend -both- your journals?


And yes, I do apologize if this comes off harsh. But when someone is told that "Oh, I haven't talked to them at ALL", when someone's heart is breaking, and it turns out they were lying, it doesn't make for a really good impression. And then Laurie gets a "let's worry everyone" emo post, complete with names, when someone-who-will-not-be-named isn't allowed to?

God. Humans.

[agent-of-cha0s.livejournal.com]

You might have had the decency to PRIVATIZE this, you know, rather than turn it into a "how HORRIBLE, WOE" spectacle... including leaving out your own culpability..

[metisbutterfly.livejournal.com]

yikes, Laurie, you had me terrified too.
I know how hard this can be though...believe me. When i had to step down from the Coven it was one of the hardest things i had to do, and not everyone understood or supported me, so it is tough.
((hugs))