*comes back, takes a deep breath*

Took a hot bath and a Diazepam last night, which knocked me out until about 3 o'clock this afternoon. Have been chatting in Yahoo! for a couple of hours. And now, to try to work.

First I'll prepare five finished pages to send to Jim. Then I'll start rendering up some new ones. At least I'm caught up on true color flats, as far as I know... I'll check NBM's FTP site, and if there are any new black-and-white pages up, I'll go easy on myself and do more true color flats on those.

Deep breaths. Get through it a minute at a time.

*shakes*

Shit... I feel like I'm shaking apart inside. Out of control. Unable to concentrate. Ready to scream.

Corey and cockatiel_art are having a movie night tonight over at Corey's place, which is only a few blocks away from where I live... I want to go, I think it would be good for me to be with friends, but I have to work on Hardy Boys. Hell, I'm not even sure I'd be decent company right now.

Just ordered in pizza. When in doubt, stuff the feelings down with food. >.< And be alone. I hope George doesn't wake up for a few hours yet. I don't think I can stand to be around anybody...

I haven't wanted to hurt myself in a very long time. Damn it.

(no subject)

I've eaten far too much pizza, blowing my carb load straight to hell, and taken half a Seroquel tablet. Hopefully that will stop this emotional palsy dead in its tracks, but still leave me able to work.

*goes back to shaking*

ETA about three and a half hours later: Six pages of Hardy Boys done, in spite of what's going on in my head. I'm gonna crawl into bed and hope that tomorrow is a better day.