Very depressed

[crowdog66]

Very depressed. Even a nice hot bath, which often soothes me somewhat, didn't help. *sigh* I might end up taking another tranquillizer...

I don't want to be awake, yet I can't seem to compose myself for sleep. I feel jumpy, nervous, and hopeless; suicide seems like a very attractive option. I was a bit of a bitch at the Shrine of Diana Circle of Artemis meeting tonight, snarking about bad pamphlet design when one of the members offered to do a handout for the group, and I'm having a very hard time accepting this and forgiving myself for it even though I came back to it later and apologized to her for my attitude. Non-judgemental stance? What the hell is that? >.< I'm in enough pain at this point that nothing feels right.

News (I can't bring myself to say it's "good"): the Marvel editor emailed me back today and sent me some samples to color. Not all of the emails got through, though -- MTS mail hit its limit and kicked at least two of them. Bloody hell... I emailed him back asking him to send future files to my Gmail account, but he hasn't written back yet, so I'm not sure if his spam filter kicked my new address... gahhhhhhhhh!

Fuck.

Comments

[elaryn.livejournal.com]

Oh dear...

I'm being a bit selfish here, but I do hope you decide to stick around. I, for one, would certainly miss you.

::BIG hugs::

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* Thank you. Sorry I took so long to reply... sometimes if the post is particularly difficult for me to make, it takes a while for me to come back to it.

[pink-gecco.livejournal.com]

You have many people who love and care for you. In fact, you frequently amaze and inspire me. Take a deep breath, accept this praise; don't try to modify it or qualify it. Just take it and hold it tight. You are loved.

Speaking of inspiration, your tale of Jack's turnip lantern inspired me to use turnips as candle holders for my Samhain ritual last night. It worked out rather well. Hopefully some pictures (which include my cat getting comfy under the altar) should be popping up shortly.

Thank-you so much for enriching my life.

Hugs and blessings.

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

*takes the praise without modifying or qualifying it -- as hard as that is*

Thank you. :-)

[eastpath.livejournal.com]

I hope they accepted your apology... I'm a craaaanky bitch around my time of the month... is it that time for you? Hormones bloody suck.. *hugs* I'm around if you want to chat.

[metisbutterfly.livejournal.com]

was it necessary to write the shrine of diana name and cross it out?

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

Yes, to indicate that I still think of it AS the Shrine of Diana and have to catch myself and refer to it by its new name. Next time there will be no strikethrough.

[metisbutterfly.livejournal.com]

Point taken.