(no subject)

[crowdog66]

George has left to be with his family in Selkirk for Thanksgiving. I'm considering calling a crisis line; the depression is a black storm lashing me with repeated urges to self-harm or slit my wrists.

Have taken a tranquillizer; if that doesn't help, time for another Seroquel.

ETA: Fuck. >.<

The phone was in the living room, and set on low ring. Therefore, I did not hear it when George called from downtown to see if I was okay. After trying several times and not getting an answer, he rushed back home. He's missed the only bus that would have gotten him out to Selkirk to be with his family for Thanksgiving.

I feel like complete and utter shit right now.

Comments

[metisbutterfly.livejournal.com]

((hugs))
I'm here for you...call if you need me.

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

I might just do that. The tranquillizer seems to be helping, but I'm still in a really rough neck of the woods emotionally.

We'll see how the evening goes...

[madra-liath.livejournal.com]

I'm considering calling a crisis line
If you need to, then do it. It doesn't make you weak. Don't sit there with no-one to talk to if you're feeling like this.

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

*nods*

Fortunately the tranquillizer seems to be taking the edge off. I just hate the idea of calling a crisis line... I don't know why, when I'm willing to do just about anything else to get help when I'm in a tough spot, but it just strikes me wrong to approach total strangers and ask them to evaluate my situation and lend me support.

... why, oh why then do I post to LJ? :-O

[madra-liath.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it's easier to talk to complete strangers who don't know you, and will probably never meet you in RL. That's why people have therapists. You can tell them your deepest, darkest secrets and discuss your psychological distress with them, and it all stays in the office. You don't have to go home later and look at them across the dinner table.

[eastpath.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* could someone come pick him up? Don't feel bad... :( Sometimes things happen for a reason, perhaps you weren't supposed to be alone and he just knew that...

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Nope... everybody else was already out in Selkirk, and George wouldn't hear of anyone taking two hours out of the family get-together to come grab him and bring him out there.

But I am glad he was here. It helped.

[eastpath.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* I'm glad it helped... *bigbigbig hugs*

[ravyne-hawke.livejournal.com]

*HUGE HUGS* Oh darlin' I do so understand how you feel. I wish there was some magic pill we could all take when depression gets to us so bad. Do not be upset that George missed going to his family's, apparently you needed him more and the Gods realized that!

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

George's attitude was simply: "I'll see them at Christmas." :-)

Maybe there was some divine intervention in that I didn't hear the phone ring -- because having him here made what I was going through a lot more bearable.

Thanks, as always, for the kind words of support. They mean a lot to me, and help me get through the tough times.

[ravyne-hawke.livejournal.com]

What a trooper George is! Glad he was there to help you through that tough moment. *hugs*

[cockatiel-art.livejournal.com]

**Hugs**

Damn.. I wish I could do something more, Crow-Joe! And don't worry too much about the bus incident. it just shows how much he cares **Hugs again**. I'd do the same!

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm so very lucky to have friends like you, NL. :-)

Thanks for the wonderful words of support. I'm trying to forgive myself for George missing the dinner, lol... hopefully with time, I'll feel less guilty.

[he-dreams-awake.livejournal.com]

We're here too: (360) 377-9364. Fuck it. Call, or we'll call you: e-mail me the number if you want to. ANYTIME, Laurie. system.anomaly@gmail.com. Whether you want me or not, I'm here.

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

*hugs* THANK YOU.

And I definitely want you there. I've withdrawn from a lot of people lately -- that's what happens when I get too busy or too depressed, so please don't feel that you've been alone in not hearing from me. I don't know how much of a part I can play in the mission, but I value knowing you and Trinity a great deal and want to keep in touch.

BTW, I almost did use the phone number. It means a lot to me that you offered it to me yet again. :-)

[he-dreams-awake.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Anytime. We're here. I'll even get beaten up by Steve for late-night calls, if I have to. :) No, not really. We miss you. Just remember we're here.