*crash*

[crowdog66]

I just experienced another near-total crash. Surges of rage, slamming doors, self-injury, the whole nine yards. The trigger was a phone call that I really didn't want to take (at this point, EVERYONE is someone I really don't want to talk to... I just can't seem to handle human contact right now), which George tried to pass on to me but which I flat-out refused to take. The thought of talking to another human being filled me with dread and panic. The stress of that, and the fury at myself for being so fucking weak, was what led to the rest.

A tranquillizer has helped a bit. Tomorrow at 9 am I go in for a retinal detachment test, and I'll be seeing my psych doc at 2:30 pm -- hopefully by then my dilated pupils will be almost back to normal so I can see properly. I'm frightened of what the test may reveal, because I have some "floaters" in my vision and these can be a sign of retinal detachment, which might require laser surgery to correct.

Right now, I really don't want to live to see tomorrow.

Comments

[brienne.livejournal.com]

*hugs and offers unconditional support*

[eastpath.livejournal.com]

who called that you didn't want to talk to? Oo *hugs*

I have a prezzie for you....

we should get together soon, do that going away thing you wanted to do... :( or at least for tea so i can give you prezzies.. *hugs*

[eastpath.livejournal.com]

oh and good luck with eye test...

*hugs*

everyone in the world has floaters tho, some are the kind that are bad, and the rest are normal.. i hope these are the normal ones....

[elaryn.livejournal.com]

::More hugs and unconditional support::

I hope you get through this latest crash and that things start looking up for you soon, and here's hoping that the floaters in your eyes are the normal kind and that you do not need surgery.

[metisbutterfly.livejournal.com]

((hugs))
Sending you lots of love and care, sister. This world is best with you in it, i send out strength to you.

[codeweasel.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
Sending you my support. Luckily you have the strength of others to reley on at times like this.

[lacontessamala.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Stay strong and hang in there.

[nightdog-barks.livejournal.com]

Did you get my postcards?

See, a total stranger likes and respects you enough to send you postcards.
A total stranger cares about you.
A total stranger wants you to stick around so we can correspond more.

*sends a hug and another hug, just for good measure*

[cockatiel-art.livejournal.com]

**Hands Crow-Joe a 4 litre of diabetic friendly pop, chocolate and lots and lots of hugs**

**Then sends crow joe to read some amusing GAFF Gabery/Fiction when she takes a break from her work**

I hope all gets better. Worried about you.