A meme from elaryn

[crowdog66]

A religion teacher assigned her class an essay on what makes a good Christian. One student wrote about praying nightly, say no to abortion, banning gay marriage, and donating money. The other student wrote about talking to God and allowing people to enjoy their lives, and supporting gay marriage.

The day the teacher was to hand the papers back, she called up the second student and told him she would pray for him when he went to hell. The student asked why would he be going to hell, and why he got an F on his paper. The teacher told him that Catholicism is against gay marriage. The student looked at her for a minute, then said aloud, "I'm gay." The teacher kicked him out of class as if he had said fuck or worshipped Satan.

A girl in the back of class who had a boyfriend and was obviously straight got up and left too.

* If you would leave the classroom, repost this. It doesn't matter if you're straight, bi, or gay. It doesn't matter if you're Catholic or not. Everyone is a human being and deserves happiness. *

Amen.

________________________________

Cut for angsting...

Today the depression suddenly came back with full, crushing force, halfway through a New Moon ritual event. I ended up spending a good five minutes afterwards crying in the host's bathroom. Fortunately nobody noticed, and once the spasm was over I was able to dry my eyes, come out, and be at least borderline sociable for 45 minutes or so before taking my leave, even though internally I felt numb, shattered, and on fire. (Yes, it is possible to feel all three states at once. Not pleasant, but possible.)

Every time this comes over me, part of me wants to swear that it will be the last and just take my life and get it the hell over with. But I can't, for any number of reasons, no matter how much it hurts -- not the least of which is that if I die right now, George can't cash the big cheque that's just around the corner, and since our bank account is in my name my death would freeze our assets, such as they are.

So what's the alternative? Keep going, keep breathing, put one foot in front of the other even when it feels like I don't have the energy or the will to do so. Right now everything seems so black, and I honestly can't imagine how it could get any better in the future.

I don't know if I can get any productive work done this evening on Star Wars, but I have to give it a try.

ETA: Just took half a Seroquel tablet... this might knock me flat on my ass, but at any rate it will stop the black howl of internal pain dead in its tracks. I hope.

Comments

[matrixrefugee.livejournal.com]

Is Selina getting to you? Because if she is, say the word and I will personally rip her a new one for getting you down.

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

Selina? Pfft... thanks for asking (and offering retribution), but I don't think the ramblings of the likes of her have much effect on my emotional state. ;-) Have you seen what's being said about her "apology" over on the "Tango With An Agent" thread on GAFF? Pure gold, that.

[elaryn.livejournal.com]

I feel as though I am in little position to offer you any assistance, but I shall certainly try to send positive energy and good thoughts your way. You certainly sound as though you could use them.

The world's a fairer place with you in it. I don't know you very well, but what I do know of you, I like. I hope you are out of "the pit" very soon, and if there is anything I can do from my end, please let me know.

Depression sucks.

::BIG hugs::

-Elaine

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

*smile* Thanks. I'm feeling a bit better today. Your kind words are greatly appreciated.

[codeweasel.livejournal.com]

Hey Laurie,
I just wanted to say that my thoughts are with you as I had been going through a simmilar time as that untill recently, when my meds were re-adjusted. I know what it's like to have to, in my case, hide in the furnace room at work to cry, because you just can't handle life. I know your situation is probably a lot more serious than mine, but I just wanted you to know that I feel for you. Keep on trucking.

-K

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the words of sympathy and compassion. Ah, medication... adjustments always suck, ne?

**Hands Crow Joe a Truck load of Kleenex and chocolate**

[cockatiel-art.livejournal.com]

**Nl then sits down beside her pal and listens/Gives Hugs/Helps MR smite the 'mighty' selina for pure amusement**

I dunno what to do, but I can give lots of chokkie and offer hugs on demand :-D

Re: **Hands Crow Joe a Truck load of Kleenex and chocolate**

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

Mmmm, chocolate... even virtual chocolate helps. Danke! *munch munch munch*

[metisbutterfly.livejournal.com]

((hugs))
I just wanted to let you know i'm here for you, sister.

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

Thanks. *smile*