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Awake again, and staring down the twin barrels of Girl Genius. Last night I curled up with my head in George's lap and let him talk me through the worst of my panic. Three pages a week. Don't look at it as an overwhelming avalanche of painting, but in small simple increments. I can do this.
Today I'll do flats and true colors (as much as I can) on the next set of three pages. I've got about a two-week lead on them at this point, so I can breathe somewhat easy.
The question of whether or not to go back to Ipsos is a different story. I'm seeing my psych doc on May 16th for another evaluation. Am I ready to go back to Ipsos? Possibly: the Remeron/Effexor/Risperdol combo seems to have elevated and stabilized my mood to the point where every second of wakefulness is a lot less like breathing ground glass than it used to be. Can I go back to Ipsos? Right now, with Girl Genius to the right of me and Hardy Boys coming up on my left side, I just can't afford 21 hours carved out of my freelance work week (which is the minimum commitment Ipsos demands). At the same time, Ipsos = security and a set income per month, which the freelance life does not promise.
Thank you all for listening as I chew over problems that are perfectly ordinary. And thank you all for your kind words of support in the past, as well as your patience.
Today I'll do flats and true colors (as much as I can) on the next set of three pages. I've got about a two-week lead on them at this point, so I can breathe somewhat easy.
The question of whether or not to go back to Ipsos is a different story. I'm seeing my psych doc on May 16th for another evaluation. Am I ready to go back to Ipsos? Possibly: the Remeron/Effexor/Risperdol combo seems to have elevated and stabilized my mood to the point where every second of wakefulness is a lot less like breathing ground glass than it used to be. Can I go back to Ipsos? Right now, with Girl Genius to the right of me and Hardy Boys coming up on my left side, I just can't afford 21 hours carved out of my freelance work week (which is the minimum commitment Ipsos demands). At the same time, Ipsos = security and a set income per month, which the freelance life does not promise.
Thank you all for listening as I chew over problems that are perfectly ordinary. And thank you all for your kind words of support in the past, as well as your patience.
