Funeral fees and memorial plans, plus moving

[crowdog66]

I have come to a startling, but perhaps not unexpected, realization in the last 24 hours:

The funeral industry is THE biggest scam, ever. Can you believe that some places want to charge us $1500-$2500 for a straight cremation with no memorial service or even an urn? Gah, times eleventy. Plus there are about a million details in the cremation/paperwork process and I have to check every single one with every funeral home. I'm tearing my hair out in great big clumps.

How we're going to pay for this without her death benefit is a mystery, and we can't get her death benefit without the paperwork from the funeral home, which we don't get until we pay them with money that presumably we would get from the death benefit. *head spinning* Meh. We'll figure it out.

It looks like we'll be holding my mother's memorial "coffee, tea, and cake" get-together in the auditorium at Riverview; that way the money goes to the facility that took such good care of her in her last days. It will probably be on June 11th, 12th, or 13th, depending on when the site is available. I have absolutely no idea how many people to order food for, since my mother's work touched so many people's lives, many of them students -- and she saw hundreds of those during her career. Insert more hair-tearing here.

A call to the Winnipeg Humane Society revealed that I can get a hand-painted 6"x6" ceramic tile (which I would create at Brushfire) for my mother for considerably less than the $1000 listed on their website. That might actually be within our reach.

Yesterday Terri and her husband Roger helped George and I to clean the essential/valuable/legal stuff out of my mother's apartment -- four heavy boxes plus her TV and VCR, her computer, some toolboxes, and other odds and ends. Terri and Roger will be forever on my heartfelt "thank you" list. I woke up this afternoon with every muscle in my body screaming in protest, but at least now if her apartment burns down we have everything that's really necessary.

Oh, and happy birthday, Terri! :-D

Tomorrow I'll be getting a bunch of calls back and will have to make a whole lot more. On Thursday I'll go and set up my mother's memorial account, after which I'll be able to submit her obituary to the newspapers.

It's a hard process. I just have to take it one day (and sometimes one hour) at a time. Thanks, and many thanks more, to everyone who's phoned and posted words of encouragement. This is one of the most difficult times of my life, and you're all making it that much easier.

Time to go have a shower and then step out to get a few groceries (as much as I'd REALLY like to just crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head). We're down to literally nothing in the household.

Comments

[eastpath.livejournal.com]

this is probably the most stressful thing a child ever has to go through with a parent *hugs* i'm glad you have all these people who can help.

[metisbutterfly.livejournal.com]

hi Laurie.
The funeral business is truly sickening, I completely agree!
I think I recall seeing an add for Voyage funeral homes about reasonable cremation cost, don't quote me on that, but you may wish to give them a call.
I hate to add to the cost news, but my aunt emailed me back and feels terrible, but the free press only allows discount to families. She agrees that funeral costs are awful and extends her condolences. However, the silver lining is that we are still happy to use our credit card to purchase it and you can pay us back when you get your cheque. Just say "when"
OOOH, the tile at Humane Society sounds gorgeous, I'll bet you could create something wonderful.
Brushfire is right by my apartment. ;) I'd love to go with you when you create it. My altar needs something new...hmmmmm...
Again hon, PLEASE call me anytime, for anything.

[elaryn.livejournal.com]

I wonder if there's a branch of the Neptune Society in Canada? My information is years out-of-date, but here's their URL:

http://www.neptunesociety.com/

*hugs* Still sending good energy and prayers your way.

Breathe ...

[bodi-kat.livejournal.com]

So much to do, so much to decide ... it makes the head spin, but my experience has revealed there is a certain benefit to be had from it- if for nothing else, you're too busy planning everything to just sit and mourn.

Not that mourning isn't happening, nor to imply that mourning is a bad thing, just that it makes those first few days of overwhelmingly-intense emotion a little more bearable, in a very strange way.

Again, i reitterate: i am but a phonecall away.

i'm going to miss your mom, hon.

[cockatiel-art.livejournal.com]

My offer of help is still up ;-). It will be up for as long as you need.

Will you be needing paint or something for the tile? I got plenty of that plus brushes. I'm glad to hear the tile is considerably less than advertized! How much are you wanting as a donation? I should have soemthing next week. Anything for your mom :-) .

My dad's side of the family uses Cropo funeral services
( http://www.cropo.com/staff.htm ). I don't know what they're like price wise. They've been okay the few times I've been to their services and were rather interesting.

**hugs**

[pink-gecco.livejournal.com]

I've been meaning to drop you a note. I've been thinking about you and George all week and keeping you in my heart. I'm sending you wishes for all to go smoothly and for you to be able to look after yourselves as well. This is very important. Be well.