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George and I did not go out to Selkirk for Canada Day: I was feeling too distraught to take being with so many people, and George didn't feel right leaving me alone when I was in that condition. So -- no trip out of town, no barbecue, etc., though we did find one of his nieces to swing by our place and take the cole slaw we'd bought. So at least they weren't short on salad.

I spent the day on the couch watching videos, including Oh! My Goddess (given to me by [livejournal.com profile] eastpath before she left for the coast), some exercise videos lent to me by [livejournal.com profile] chimera452, and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, which our local TV service had on pay-per-view. This managed to keep me sufficiently distracted that I didn't hurt myself, though in order to sleep I had to take a tranquillizer. [livejournal.com profile] chimera452's husband stopped by in the afternoon, bringing with him a fine green bicycle that's just my size; we had him in to tea for a bit, though by the time he left I was feeling very stressed and drained. I'm just sorry we couldn't give him better hospitality, but I simply wasn't up to it.

Today was a harder row to hoe. More watching videos; a lot of staring at the walls watching the shadows gather as evening closed in; a few conversations with George to try and ease the pain, though right now nothing seems to be working. Tomorrow I'll phone my psych doc and ask him if I should discontinue the increased dosage of Cytomel, which seems to coincide with the depression/anxiety becoming a lot closer to unbearable.

Oh, and in the last couple of days we've had a virtual plague of flies, both fruitflies and houseflies. We can't figure out where they're getting in and can find nothing in the house that could be the source of the little bastards. They're immensely annoying and no matter how many we kill, there always seem to be more. Gah. There's a sizable gap under our door to the front hallway, and the garbage bin outside the building is teeming with flies, so perhaps they're coming into the building and entering our suite that way. In any case, it makes me feel just that much crappier having them around.

I managed to exercise for 20 minutes yesterday and hope to do at least that much tonight before I go to bed. Gods... this is dreadful, feeling like all I'm doing is waiting to die. The depression is like a constant fever that makes everything seem warped and surreal. Perhaps adjusting my medication will improve matters.
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Date/Time: 2006-07-03 05:32 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] dark-puck.livejournal.com
*snuggles* I hope everything works out for you, babe. I'm prayin' for you.
Date/Time: 2006-07-03 05:51 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] eastpath.livejournal.com
I hope so *hugs* glad you enjoy the vids :)
Date/Time: 2006-07-03 18:50 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] matrixrefugee.livejournal.com
::Hugs:: You and George did the right thing in opting to stay home instead of going out to that get-together; it's no different than staying home because you had a cold or something like that. I'm proud of you for doing that.

And I haven't actually seen Oh! My Goddess, but I read the first two or three volumes of the manga, which I got out of one of the local libraries. A lot of fun, that one!
Date/Time: 2006-07-04 12:20 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] pink-gecco.livejournal.com
Wishing you strength and love. Hang in there.
Date/Time: 2006-07-05 09:45 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] cockatiel-art.livejournal.com
**takes a sharp pointed stick and whaps the depression away the best she can** Grrrrrrrr! Depression No Bite crowdog! **whaps a few more times for good measure**

If you need sticky tape for the fly invasion, gimmie a shout. I have backup. I get those dang invasions yearly at my place.

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