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I woke up with the alarm this morning weighed down by a sense of despair and listlessness, and didn't rise to exercise before going to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chimera452's place for my early afternoon shift. George was disapproving of my laziness, but frankly at this point I'm finding it very hard to care.
Thoughts of suicide are running through my mind again. I know that if I can just hang on this too will pass, but I feel so tired and hopeless that I honestly don't want to go on. I managed to be light-hearted and friendly during lunch, though it took an effort, but my innermost true self is in a very dark place.
Somehow I have to get through the rest of the day, do Marvel Masterworks corrections, and force myself to put in some exercise. The prospect makes me want to lie down and pull the earth up over my head. I feel like I'm made of rice paper, and the structure of my mind is ready to collapse under the slightest load.
chimera452's place for my early afternoon shift. George was disapproving of my laziness, but frankly at this point I'm finding it very hard to care.Thoughts of suicide are running through my mind again. I know that if I can just hang on this too will pass, but I feel so tired and hopeless that I honestly don't want to go on. I managed to be light-hearted and friendly during lunch, though it took an effort, but my innermost true self is in a very dark place.
Somehow I have to get through the rest of the day, do Marvel Masterworks corrections, and force myself to put in some exercise. The prospect makes me want to lie down and pull the earth up over my head. I feel like I'm made of rice paper, and the structure of my mind is ready to collapse under the slightest load.
