Blah and bleeding

Aunt Floe finally made her appearance yesterday. This morning I feel like someone is slowly scouring my lower abdominal cavity with a bottle brush, but at least the wait is over. And my blood sugar levels have dropped quite a bit since yesterday, coming into what I had hoped to see as my normal range.

Phoned the local New Age supply store, Radiance, to see if they can clean a silver chalice for the handfasting ceremony at KeyCon next weekend. Hurray, they can, and they refuse to charge me anything for it. Now I just have to:

1) Pick up white, yellow, and blue sanctuary candles at the Catholic supply store.
2) Buy a six foot long dark green cord from Mitchell's Fabrics.
3) Get some Superglue to repair my Diana & Stag statue for the ceremony.
4) Print out the KeyCon color cover art and get it matted.
5) Get final approval on the ritual script and then print out copies for myself, the couple, their extended family, and my assistant.
6) Pick up some duotangs to put the ritual copies in.

Right now I feel so tired that even thinking about doing all those things makes me want to go and lie down again, but the exhaustion/sleepiness will probably pass as the alprazolam I took last night slowly works its way out of my system.

*sighs, wipes eyes*

I just spent 20 minutes sobbing my heart out. Someone posted a mother-related poem on Yahoo!Answers, and reading it totally undid me.

( Poem behind the cut )

*sniffle*

I can count on one hand the number of times I've cried since my mother's death, and this was easily the most painful episode. I just wanted so damned badly to make her smile one more time -- to buy her flowers, to take her out to lunch, to show her some cute cat video or picture. And I'll never be able to do that again, and the pain is like being carried back and forth by ocean surf and dashed against rocks again... and again... and again.

Fortunately George was here so I wasn't alone as I wept. He's lost his mother and a brother, so he understands this kind of pain. I just hope that in his moments of suffering I'm able to comfort him as much as he's able to comfort me.

I'll try to post something light and entertaining later. Right now I've got a fresh cup of coffee and a few MM pages that I want to finish tonight, so it's time to pound back a couple of aspirin and get down to it.