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Oh, lordy! Does the Kitty icon look scared? It should, because I have a dreadful task to perform...
... I have to read A.'s posts to the AI RP list.
It's only recently (in the last two years) that I've learned the skills of assertiveness, negotiation, and standing up for myself wthout launching a nuclear exchange. I think I've got them pretty much in hand. But this is one of the first real tests.
Plus -- and since I'm pretty sure everyone who reads this will be female, I'm sure I can say this without fear of "ewwww, gross!" reactions -- my period started today. So my posts on the subject (detailed in my last entry, "Diplomacy vs. Directness") were hormonally fueled. Oh, joy!
I started to open the first one, then chickened out and shut it down without reading it. I know I have to deal with the situation I've created, which will test another whole area of my learned skills that hasn't had a lot of game play to this point. I have to steel myself not to wilt in the face of A.'s potentially great unhappiness and sense of indignation (after a lifetime that taught me to fold and do ANYTHING to please people). I have to remember that I stood up for myself, that I had a valid point which I hoped I stated clearly, and that my point is still a valid one.
Maybe that's my greatest fear. That I was wrong. That there was a perfectly reasonable reason for A. to do as she did... and I'm just not sure that I can escape the "black and white" habits of thinking, that if she is right then I am totally wrong, and vice versa.
I have to try. But probably not tonight. I just don't have the courage.
Another skill they taught in DBT: do not judge yourself harshly, and give yourself permission to be afraid.
... I have to read A.'s posts to the AI RP list.
It's only recently (in the last two years) that I've learned the skills of assertiveness, negotiation, and standing up for myself wthout launching a nuclear exchange. I think I've got them pretty much in hand. But this is one of the first real tests.
Plus -- and since I'm pretty sure everyone who reads this will be female, I'm sure I can say this without fear of "ewwww, gross!" reactions -- my period started today. So my posts on the subject (detailed in my last entry, "Diplomacy vs. Directness") were hormonally fueled. Oh, joy!
I started to open the first one, then chickened out and shut it down without reading it. I know I have to deal with the situation I've created, which will test another whole area of my learned skills that hasn't had a lot of game play to this point. I have to steel myself not to wilt in the face of A.'s potentially great unhappiness and sense of indignation (after a lifetime that taught me to fold and do ANYTHING to please people). I have to remember that I stood up for myself, that I had a valid point which I hoped I stated clearly, and that my point is still a valid one.
Maybe that's my greatest fear. That I was wrong. That there was a perfectly reasonable reason for A. to do as she did... and I'm just not sure that I can escape the "black and white" habits of thinking, that if she is right then I am totally wrong, and vice versa.
I have to try. But probably not tonight. I just don't have the courage.
Another skill they taught in DBT: do not judge yourself harshly, and give yourself permission to be afraid.
