Cover mine eyes with Thy wings, O Death, And take me from this world into oblivion. Strike my name from the rolls of the living And let my memory be scattered like leaves in the snow.
Bad day. It started last night, just before the ritual, and therefore IMHO the ritual went quite badly. Everybody else seemed to get something out of it, but I was struggling just to stay "present" throughout, and consumed with feelings of panic and shame for having written such a bad rite, much less inflicting it on others. Not to mention the fact that two people who were supposed to show up just... didn't. No phone call, no nothing, which led me to feel that the ritual was so bad it had just plain scared them off.
Afterwards was fun, though. Holly reassured me somewhat and served a delicious chicken stew, and Lee had us play a game where everybody picked wrapped presents out of a bag and then got to trade them -- the second person got to choose between their gift and the first person's, the third person got to choose between their gift AND the second and third person's, and so on... then it reversed, so everybody had a chance at a good selection. ;-) I pulled a lovely calico cat plushie right off the hop, and through a combination of declining to trade with anyone else and making pleading eyes whenever anyone looked like they were going to take the wee beastie, I got to keep her. :-) I've named her "Boo", and she's sitting on the 6500 right now.
Heh. Just remembering it makes me feel a bit better...
Quite depressed, and didn't get out of the house today, but still kicking. *hugs back*
That verse was just going through my head as I lay in bed last night, reflecting on how miserable I felt during part of the evening. Depression really messed with my participation in and enjoyment of the ritual, though Holly (my teacher) said that it wasn't evident externally during the rite and that she could only tell something was "off" because she'd known me for so long... apparently I acted as a competant High Priestess in spite of the emotional load I was under.
See my reply to EP's comment for an account of the game we played after the ritual feast. It was the high point of my evening. :-)
*cuddles* I'm sorry you didn't enjoy yourself, and I hope things are better tomorrow. The game sounds like it was quite amusing.
On a random note, Sir Richard Burton does excellent translations of Islamic literature. *waves 'A Thousand and One Nights' and 'The Perfumed Garden' around*
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ninetydegrees
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Afterwards was fun, though. Holly reassured me somewhat and served a delicious chicken stew, and Lee had us play a game where everybody picked wrapped presents out of a bag and then got to trade them -- the second person got to choose between their gift and the first person's, the third person got to choose between their gift AND the second and third person's, and so on... then it reversed, so everybody had a chance at a good selection. ;-) I pulled a lovely calico cat plushie right off the hop, and through a combination of declining to trade with anyone else and making pleading eyes whenever anyone looked like they were going to take the wee beastie, I got to keep her. :-) I've named her "Boo", and she's sitting on the 6500 right now.
Heh. Just remembering it makes me feel a bit better...
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I hope you realise that they didn't show up for a different reason... and it wasn't the rite....
*HUGS*
I'm glad you got Boo... At least there was positive...
I know when we are scared or upset that magic workings aren't the best, but if Holly reassured you than take that as good...
Now, I have to go to work *sigh*
But remember, no drastic decisions when your not on level thinking ground :)
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*hugs*
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That verse was just going through my head as I lay in bed last night, reflecting on how miserable I felt during part of the evening. Depression really messed with my participation in and enjoyment of the ritual, though Holly (my teacher) said that it wasn't evident externally during the rite and that she could only tell something was "off" because she'd known me for so long... apparently I acted as a competant High Priestess in spite of the emotional load I was under.
See my reply to EP's comment for an account of the game we played after the ritual feast. It was the high point of my evening. :-)
(no subject)
On a random note, Sir Richard Burton does excellent translations of Islamic literature. *waves 'A Thousand and One Nights' and 'The Perfumed Garden' around*
(no subject)