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Every thought feels like it's soaked in vinegar. Every breath is like breathing sand. Everything I touch seems wrong.
Guess I just have to accept that this is how I feel right now (DBT skill: Radical Acceptance) and not make it worse by beating myself up over it (DBT skill: Non-Judgemental Stance).
But I did get some walking in today, plus twenty sit-ups. I'm feeling sort of proud that I managed to do anything at all. That, and rented a whole whack o' movies, including the last two Matrix films, some anime titles (Armitage III, Doomed Megalopolis and Project A-ko, the last two real blasts from my past), and a documentary about what life on Earth might be like 200 million years from now.
Tomorrow -- laundry. I'm so far behind I have to start gathering energy for it now.
Three other things that are stressing me out and making me sad, as well as gnash my teeth mightily:
1) Our upcoming rent increase. The landlord wants to raise it by a LOT more than the 1.5% allowed as a matter of course. Unfortunately, I read over the paperwork today and discovered that the time to put in a protest was no later than the end of May. The thought of having to pay an additional $40+ on this buttonhole of a suite has me screaming, so I'll have to screw up my courage and call the rentalsman tomorrow or Thursday and see if there's anything at all that can be done about this. There probably isn't. See the DBT skills above, again.
2) A letter from Revenue Canada. I still haven't gotten up the courage to open it. It's probably just a reminder to file our 2004 taxes, but still, in my current mood I'm jumping at anything and everything.
3) A dream I had last night, where Micawber was alive again. Yes, I'm still going on about that bloody cat. Sorry.
Okay, off to do some Hardy Boys flats. Or at least the best that I can.
EDITTED TO ADD: Another thing to rejoice over -- I just found out that your average cake donut has, count 'em, 30 CARBS. Per donut.
*whimpers like a little baby puppy, and looks longingly and hopelessly at the box of donuts I picked up for George on the way home*
Guess I just have to accept that this is how I feel right now (DBT skill: Radical Acceptance) and not make it worse by beating myself up over it (DBT skill: Non-Judgemental Stance).
But I did get some walking in today, plus twenty sit-ups. I'm feeling sort of proud that I managed to do anything at all. That, and rented a whole whack o' movies, including the last two Matrix films, some anime titles (Armitage III, Doomed Megalopolis and Project A-ko, the last two real blasts from my past), and a documentary about what life on Earth might be like 200 million years from now.
Tomorrow -- laundry. I'm so far behind I have to start gathering energy for it now.
Three other things that are stressing me out and making me sad, as well as gnash my teeth mightily:
1) Our upcoming rent increase. The landlord wants to raise it by a LOT more than the 1.5% allowed as a matter of course. Unfortunately, I read over the paperwork today and discovered that the time to put in a protest was no later than the end of May. The thought of having to pay an additional $40+ on this buttonhole of a suite has me screaming, so I'll have to screw up my courage and call the rentalsman tomorrow or Thursday and see if there's anything at all that can be done about this. There probably isn't. See the DBT skills above, again.
2) A letter from Revenue Canada. I still haven't gotten up the courage to open it. It's probably just a reminder to file our 2004 taxes, but still, in my current mood I'm jumping at anything and everything.
3) A dream I had last night, where Micawber was alive again. Yes, I'm still going on about that bloody cat. Sorry.
Okay, off to do some Hardy Boys flats. Or at least the best that I can.
EDITTED TO ADD: Another thing to rejoice over -- I just found out that your average cake donut has, count 'em, 30 CARBS. Per donut.
*whimpers like a little baby puppy, and looks longingly and hopelessly at the box of donuts I picked up for George on the way home*
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(no subject)
If you need to talk, I'll be back online in an hour: the plotbunnies from hell are gnawing at my toes, and the only way to exorcise them is to write a little more... Oh, and expect a crazy little DegSep ficlet in which several of Emily's admirers gang up on Derek, her ex-boyfriend.
(no subject)
(no subject)
I know you won't ever get 'cured' of this, CD, but I hope things get better for you soon. I can't really think of anything else to say that wouldn't be empty... I've never been depressed myself, though it has a tendency to run in my family. I hope I never get seriously depressed like you do.
Oh, and you picked up The Future is Wild? Excellent! It's a fun series. Look out for the squid snot!
(no subject)
Thanks for the kind wishes... and yes, the DVD I picked up is The Future Is Wild. I think I'll sit down and watch a bit of it as I wait for the tranquillizer I just popped to take effect. :-)
(no subject)
I feel cranky and depressed and paranoid I'm going to lose my job, all for no reason at all, so I can get where you are coming from *hugs* Hope you're doing a bit better now...
(no subject)
*sigh* Thanks for the kind wishes... after this tranquillizer takes effect, I'll be feeling MUCH better, I think.
(no subject)
my day seems busted now cuz of massive rain... bleh... tho it's very nice to listen to....
**yawns, blinks and sighs**
Tranqs can be your besssst friends sometimes. Besides.. the bed can be a very comfy place! I just wish my TV wasn't getting train induced 'snow' right now.
I'm glad you've found the strength to walk and do sit ups! Woot for the small but powerful accompleshments !
TTYL **Hugs**... **then hands crow-joe some diabetic fun goodies**