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I just got back from the memorial service.
I knew it was going to be a memorial. I did not realize, and nowhere in the invitation did it indicate, that it was an immensely Christian service.
I mean, it had two Christian hymns, lots of Bible passages, plenty of audience response along the lines of "O Lord, our God", appeals to the God of Christianity and many statements of His goodness and mercy, and more "Amen"s than you could shake a stick at. It left me feeling very strange and uncomfortable -- how was I supposed to react to the call-and-responses? How could I sing hymns that were not of my religion and honored a God that was not my God? (I very quietly substituted "Lady" for "Lord", "Goddess" for "God", and "So mote it be" for "Amen", spoken softly so as not to offend those around me. I'm not sure that was the best thing to do, but it was the best I could come up with at that moment.) More to the point, my mother was on bad terms with Christianity as a whole and would probably not have appreciated being remembered in such a service if she'd had the choice.
I had a word with the chaplain afterwards. She was the one who spoke with me several times while my mother was dying and she recognized me immediately, and was sympathetic when I expressed my concern that such a service would make some NeoPagans (and other non-Christians) VERY uncomfortable, and therefore was perhaps not the best kind of service for a facility like Riverview to be hosting. She assured me that they are working on a more inclusive style of service.
Hmmm. I think I'll write her an actual letter, on paper and everything, summarizing my response. It might help the wheels of administration move a little bit faster.
I knew it was going to be a memorial. I did not realize, and nowhere in the invitation did it indicate, that it was an immensely Christian service.
I mean, it had two Christian hymns, lots of Bible passages, plenty of audience response along the lines of "O Lord, our God", appeals to the God of Christianity and many statements of His goodness and mercy, and more "Amen"s than you could shake a stick at. It left me feeling very strange and uncomfortable -- how was I supposed to react to the call-and-responses? How could I sing hymns that were not of my religion and honored a God that was not my God? (I very quietly substituted "Lady" for "Lord", "Goddess" for "God", and "So mote it be" for "Amen", spoken softly so as not to offend those around me. I'm not sure that was the best thing to do, but it was the best I could come up with at that moment.) More to the point, my mother was on bad terms with Christianity as a whole and would probably not have appreciated being remembered in such a service if she'd had the choice.
I had a word with the chaplain afterwards. She was the one who spoke with me several times while my mother was dying and she recognized me immediately, and was sympathetic when I expressed my concern that such a service would make some NeoPagans (and other non-Christians) VERY uncomfortable, and therefore was perhaps not the best kind of service for a facility like Riverview to be hosting. She assured me that they are working on a more inclusive style of service.
Hmmm. I think I'll write her an actual letter, on paper and everything, summarizing my response. It might help the wheels of administration move a little bit faster.
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