Two-layered day

Yesterday was dark depression leavened with a increasing incidents of pleasure. For my birthday, George and I went out to Papa George's, an Italian/Greek restaurant in Osborne Village, and enjoyed a very nice dinner (I had a Caesar salad and lasagna, a rare treat), then walked to nearby Movie Village and rented Project A-ko (funny anime) and The Man Who Wasn't There (film noir from the Cohen brothers). Then we cuddled up on the couch and watched them both. I was able to practice the "one-mindfully" DBT skill and just enjoy the moment I was in, not worrying about how I'd felt earlier or how I might feel later.

I also picked up Matrix: Revolutions to watch later. Mmmm, Neo/Smith... the tension between them is truly electric.

The movie I later realized I should have rented? Chicago.

Woke up earlier today than in the past few days (just after 3 pm). No cheque from NBM yet, so I sent the editor an email thanking him for recently received comps and slipping in the question about the cheque on the side. He's promised to get back to me on that, so we'll have to see... in the meantime, I called our telephone company and assured them that yes, I still intend to pay my phone bill -- I just can't do it right now. They were very reasonable and willing to work with me, postponing the required date of payment to next Friday. Whew! *great relief*

Last night George and I went out and came home in a heavy snowfall. Not blizzard conditions, but boy, was it coming down! George got me up briefly this morning to look out the window and see the world sheathed in perfect white, the tree branches laden with snow and hoarfrost. Not sure how much we got, but I'd guess at least a foot. Barring a huge warm front, this snow is here to stay.

Oh, yeah... the two-layered day header. I've been oscillating between deep depression (despair, conviction that things will never get better/only get worse, and desire to harm/kill myself) and energy/hope. The oscillation is painful, producing the emotional equivalent of whiplash and making me extremely anxious. I'm trying to keep as stable as possible and set myself up to maximize the hope while decreasing the distress, but boy, is it hard. I'm also wavering between bouts of wanting to lie down under a blanket/go to sleep and stay up and get stuff done -- maybe not very ambitious stuff, but at least stay awake. Bloody hell, it hurts.

Snagged from ravyne_hawke

You're Romanticism!

This passionate art movement blossomed from the
late 1700's to the mid 1800's. The key word was
'beauty' and the colour palette was rich as
romantic painters created their emotionally
charged works of art, which often portrayed the
ever-so-popular ancient myths, sexed-up tragic
love stories, beautiful maidens, and idyllic
landscapes. Ugliness, realism and poverty had
no place in this world, for romantic artists
wanted to illustrate romantisized dreams and
fantasies and beauty which could only exist in
the lovely world of imagination and art.

Famous Romantic Artists: William Blake, Caspar
David Friedrich, Eugene Delacroix

Picture: Death of Sardanapalus by Eugene Delacroix


Which Art Movement Are You? (pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

Still depressed, but

Still depressed, but got basic flats done on 3 pages of Joe In The Future -- which, believe me, is NOT easy stuff to flat. The artist has a very sketchy style and leaves a lot of lines open.

Tomorrow: Gotta go to the bank, pay $50 on the phone, hit my weekly DBT class, and come back in time for the mobile vet, Dr. Murtagh, to come by at 6 pm to have a look at Emmie.

*wants to curl up/cut/die... but rather fears that I will live another day*