1.5 hours

[crowdog66]

That's how long I lasted at Ipsos tonight. 90 minutes. The lingering depression from the flu/bronchitis/lack of exercise led to a panic state, and I lost the ability to function in such a way that I could maintain quality and respondant control on interviews.

I feel lower than a snake's belly right now. Like absolute shit. Like a failure, and the worst part? Right now I feel like I could never go back.

After I left work I pigged out on A&W burgers and fries (indulging in comfort food and punishing myself in one swoop), then came home and talked briefly with George before taking a tranquillizer and going to bed. But I just couldn't get to sleep; my mind is in too much turmoil. So here I am, on the net. Not that it's going to help.

Comforting myself with sugar-free lemon hard candies and trying not to think about tomorrow...

Comments

[pink-gecco.livejournal.com]

Try not to be so hard on yourself. You've had a temporary setback because you've been sick. The keywork here is "temporary". You've come so far and have been feeling so much better recently.

Remember, 1 step back, 2 steps forward. You have the strength to get over this, I know you do. Don't beat yourself up about the a&w, either.

Sorry I didn't get to Beltane. I've been sick, too.