Another day, another ache

Just awake and in a great deal of emotional pain. Add the stress of Photoshop CS crashing on a regular basis, an eBay auctioner requiring payment ASAP and then NOT including his mailing address on the invoice, and taking my psychiatrist's note into Ipsos-Reid this afternoon, and I'm wrecked up even more.

I caught myself looking fixedly at the studio box-cutters while waiting for Eudora mail to load. Not good. Maybe I'll take yet another tranquillizer, though I really hate using "spot" medication so often.

I'm trying to turn my mind by thinking of positive things, but can't seem to make it stick for very long. More than anything else I'm just so damned tired, a kind of tired that eleven hours of sleep doesn't even begin to touch because it's a weariness of the soul.

Okay. Positive things.

1) The rice cooker George and I received for Christmas from John and Susan. It's a wonderful little device, and we're really looking forward to firing it up some evening soon.

2) All the pictures we've recently "discovered" of Micawber (though that also brings back an intense longing for him and for our old apartment).

3) The fact that I have a regular project in The Hardy Boys, even though right now working on it is like dragging myself through broken glass.

4) The way my thighs are starting to get noticably thinner. Exercise actually works. D'oh.

5) The Great Monthly Bleed-Off is almost over. Huzzah!

6) The movie score to Chicago. "Cell Block Tango" totally rocks.

7) All my LJ friends who read posts like this and don't get utterly sick and tired of me.

GAFF Christmas avatar update

Inspired by the "Christmas your avatar" thread on GAFF...

Before:



After:



... I am so, SO dead. Smith ain't exactly the most forgiving ornament on the tree, if you catch my drift.

Still, you should see the other guy. Hee.

X-posted to mtx_deg_sep.

Christmas lights and shorter hours

First, the shorter hours: when I dropped off my doctor's note at Ipsos-Reid, the human resources person I spoke with told me that if it would make it easier for me, they could arrange to have me come in for 4-hour shifts (as opposed to the regular 6 or 7 hour shifts) and gradually increase the length of the shifts so that I'm not too stressed. I was so astounded, I'm sure I stood there with my mouth hanging open for a moment. I have NEVER heard of them doing such a thing, and am amazed that they'd do it for me... they must really be desperate for workers, lol. All they'd need is a note from my doctor saying that he recommends such a course of action and we'd be set to go.

Hmmm. That might change my plans about volunteering for Quagga (who STILL have not called me back, after two phone calls on my part), though I still think I'd be better off going the volunteer route first to see if I can even take 4 hours of straight work.

Step training has been done for the day, and I can really see that I'm losing weight already. And Photoshop CS hasn't crashed once today; apparently trashing the prefs file works wonders.

Now, the Christmas lights: on the way home I stopped at PharmaPlus, where strings of little Christmas lights have gone even more on sale (now $3 for a 14-foot string). So, I grabbed one of those strings and put it up over/around the G4 and monitor in the studio. It looks very pretty, and I've taken a picture of it for later development.

I'm currently working on Hardy Boys, trying very hard not to stress out too much so I don't crash, burn, and lose all possibility of getting any work done tonight.

Totally different topic: if you want to see the Christmas Lights From Hell, click here. Oh, God, the horror...